Domestic violence. my Boyfriend hit me. I dn't knw wht 2 do.plz tell me wht will happn if we go court. I always defended my self

Asked over 1 year ago - Encino, CA

my boyfriend had been physically abusing me for a while. But we made up every time n he promised not to do it again. I always used to take pictures of all the bruises n scars I got. He got a hold of my computer and he deleted them all. I really love him we have been together for 3 yrs. But I've had enough :'( Yesterday night he slapped me after a really small argument. I tried to make a video n he took my phone. Then I told him I'm calling the police n he said ''go ahead u'll get in trouble too'' so I acted like I was gonna get help over the internet so I turned my laptops webcam on. I tried to get my phone from him n he slapped me twice again n I got it on video. We are both international students. I really don't want this to affect me but I really need help. I'm ready to hire a lawyer!

Additional information

I have the video of him hitting me he figured out I was recording and he tried to delete me but I took it out of the recycling bin. Please advise me on what I should do. He will never stop hitting me I really need him to learn a lesson. i NEVER purposefully hit him back. I did try to defend myself which may have caused hit scars from my nails.

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Nadezhda M Habinek

    Contributor Level 8

    5

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . The first thing you should do is take steps to protect yourself. Do you have someplace else to stay, even just for a few nights? There are also domestic violence shelters that can assist you. You need to think about whether you need to take more steps to get out of there while you report his behavior. Get yourself safe, first.

    Another way to help you stay safe is seeking a restraining order. You can go to the local courthouse and fill out domestic violence restraining order paperwork. You can seek a temporary order at this point, which will keep him away from you for a few weeks. You then would have the chance to seek a restraining order that would last for a much longer time period. An attorney can help you fill out this paperwork and advise you about some of the consequences of the RO. There are also free clinics at the Pasadena and Downtown LA courthouses (there may be some closer to you, too, but I'm not sure) that can help you fill out your paperwork.

    Next step is to make a copy of that video. It is also possible for a computer technician to recover your deleted files so you may want to think about taking that laptop or computer tower to another safe place.

    Next step, you can go to the police if you want to make a report and file charges. Their detectives may also be able to help you preserve some of the evidence.

    Good luck.

  2. Morgan Laine Place

    Contributor Level 11

    2

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . First, I am very sorry for your circumstances. It is an incredibly difficult situation to be dealing with. Having said that, I agree with attorney Habinek. Your first priority should be keeping yourself safe.

    Get out and away. Take everything you may need in an emergency- vital documents, bank information, valuables, etc. Seek out a safe place to stay for awhile. There are shelters if you cannot stay with a friend.

    In addition to that, you should report the abuse and get a restraining order. When you report the abuse, it is likely you can obtain an emergency protective order which will give you a few days of protection and should help you obtain a temporary restraining order from the courts. Once you obtain such an order, make sure it is on file with you school, employer, landlord, etc.

    When you report the abuse, tell the officers about the video and pictures. Bring the video with you. It is likely the officers will want to conduct follow up interviews and, if there is a trial, you will probably be asked to testify as a witness. Please be aware that reporting the crime does not guarantee that there will be an arrest, let alone a trial.

    You need to be prepared for the possibility that all your efforts do not result in his being held accountable. It is for this reason that you must ensure you have taken every step to protect yourself. It is a good idea to consult with an attorney who can talk to you about the criminal process, your civil remedies, and also possibly the immigration consequences.

  3. Hillary Johns

    Contributor Level 19

    2

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You need a restraining order and to get out of that relationship. Live with family or friends and stay away from him.

    I'm very sorry that you're going through this and you're smart to hire a lawyer. Don't feel sorry for him. He's got a problem and it's affecting your health and safety. If he were a nice guy, he wouldn't have treated you this way.

    In addition to hiring a lawyer, there are several agencies that offer counseling.

    Ms. Johns can be reached at her Woodland Hills and San Diego offices at (866) 402-4038. Her email is hjohns@... more

Can't find what you're looking for? Ask a Lawyer

Get free answers from experienced attorneys.

 

Ask now

28,473 answers this week

3,117 attorneys answering

Ask a Lawyer

Get answers from top-rated lawyers.

  • It's FREE
  • It's easy
  • It's anonymous

28,473 answers this week

3,117 attorneys answering