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Do I need to meet with the mother at her therapist session who is falsely accusing me of sexual activity with her child?

San Anselmo, CA |

I am a 35 year old female who has worked with all ages of children as a nanny and childcare provider for 23 years. I have taken care of this 3 year old boy since before he could crawl. 7 months ago, I was falsely accused of letting him touch my private parts after she asked him to show her how he touched me and he told his mom and showed her what he did to me. He told her this after she hysterically grabbed him and ran into the other room, telling me to leave. She wants to meet with me and she wants me to "finally tell her the truth". I have told her everything and I did not let the little boy touch me down or up there. This family has been very close to me and I was friends with the father before he meet his new wife. Should I go to the meeting? I would simply repeat what I said before.

Attorney Answers 2


There is absolutely no legal obligation for you to go with the child's mother. In fact, it can be to your detriment, even if all you do is deny the allegations yet again.

Allegations of improper sexual conduct and child molestation is serious and depending on the specific allegations, can be charged in a way so that you face years, if not life in prison. Anything you say at this therapy session would NOT be privileged, as the presence of anyone but a therapist and the patient breaks the confidential nature of the session. Even if you denied any allegation against you, if there was anything that was in any way inconsistent (or even a perception of inconsistency, even if it was a mistake on the part of the listener as to what you truly said), it can be seen as incriminating.

I know the nurturing side of you wants to clear your name and help get past whatever caused this child to make false allegations against you, but trust me - this is beyond just going to a meeting with a therapist.

Going to the meeting and denying it will not convince the mother either. If she's convinced you did something wrong, denials aren't going to change her mind, no matter what the setting.

My best advice to you - politely decline this invitation to the therapy session. Instead, set up your own meeting - with a good criminal defense attorney in your area. Even if there are currently no charges pending, I have a feeling there is or will be an investigation. You need to protect yourself. An attorney can give you more specific advice and assistance.

Best of luck to you.

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I hope you took Mr. Dane's advice and consulted an experienced criminal defense attorney. You will almost surely need the help. If you have not, you are free to give me a call, as I am in Marin County as well. The consultation is free with no obligation, and it might help you form a plan of action. The one WRONG plan is to just sit passively and wait for something to happen. You can also read more about false accusations and what to do when you are being investigated here:


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