My husband and i filled together ans shortly after he hurt me and is in jail for felony assult on me we have two small children so i am packing and leaving victim services is helping me but my question is do I have to give him half the return I filled HOH and he had back child support taken out of our return for his other child
Head of household is not the same as filing jointly. He should not be entitled to your refund.
First, the life insurance, pension and 401(k) will go to the named beneficiary. The will can not overrule these designations. So whoever is named the beneficiary of the life insurance gets that outside of what the will says. Same for the pension and 401(k). This also applies to joint property, so if they held money or the house or other assets, then the joint tenant gets those assets. The will only speaks to assets in mom's name alone. As for your options to find out the truth, the only way would be to try to find whether she ever saw an attorney. If you can check her belongings or her check register you may find additional information. However, the will cannot change the passage of title on the items discussed above. Get with an estates lawyer in your area to discuss all of the factual details and your options in a face to face meeting.
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You say you filed together then you say you filed as HOH. So I don't know how you filed. If you filed jointly then you owe him half because TX is a community property state. If you filed as HOH, and reported only your income, you won't owe him anything if you qualified for HOH. You may be able to choose head of household filing status if you live apart from your spouse, meet certain tests, and are considered unmarried.... This can apply to you even if you are not divorced or legally separated.
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If you are married and he is in jail you may be able to claim HOH status. Since this is not a joint return he would not be entitled to the refund.
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