Sorry to hear about your situation. You can sue your daughter in law and anyone else who caused damage to your property. However, if you are not your grandchildren's legal guardian and have no legal rights to assert regarding visitation, there is no legal recourse you can take to see your grand kids. At this point you, your son and daughter in law will most likely need a 'heart to heart' talk to mend this broken fence in order to salvage any relationship. If you sue her that would probably cause a bigger divide, and it seems the most important part of your story is the children, so maybe focus on how to get back into their lives. It is unfortunate that your son had some part in this deterioration, but hopefully some good can come of it. Good luck.
you could sue for it as well as the property damage, conversion, trespassing, and any other damage she caused you. Emotional distress is very difficult to recover and probably will make the relationship worse between her and your family.
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Difficult to say because certain elements need to be present. What is "emotional distress?" Too many people living in your home? If that is the case and you want them out, you probably need to consult a landlord tenant lawyer. If you are distressed because too many people are living in your home, whose fault is that? About not seeing your grandkids? That happens unfortunately all the time but I more likely than not actionable. You should consult an attorney who is well familiar with personal injury claims and see if this behavior rises to actionable.
It seems that maybe family counseling/mediation might be an option you want to consider. Where is your son in all this?
I wish you the best
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Even assuming you were successful in bringing such a claim, and getting a judgment, would it be possible to collect a dime from your daughter-in-law? What effect would such a lawsuit have on your son?