Do I have a chance at gaining physical custody?

Asked over 1 year ago - Rochester, NY

The father has physical custody and we share joint legal custody. Holidays are to be agreed upon within reason and I have our 2 boys for the summers. I am to have reasonable contact with our children as well. The father has moved several times and always changes phones numbers without notifying myself of these changes (which is court ordered). He brainwashes our 2 children, telling them what a bad parent I am. I live just minutes out of state and provide full transportation. If he is found in contempt and proved of ruining my relationship with our 2 children, will my chances of gaining physical custody be higher? I go to court for first appearance on the 17th of this month.

Additional information

The father has been their primary care taker for the past couple of years and I know that this is something the judge will look at but I feel it is not in their best interest for many reasons including these to reside with the father. I know that the judge will also look at which parent is the better one to abide but a judgement of order. The father is always wanting to fight with me, minimize my contact with our 2 children, and inform our children that I am a bad mother and do not care for them. I honestly feel that my relationship with our children is totally being ruined b/c of the father. The father claims that they do not want to live with me but yet when I actually get to talk to them they are always asking when I am going to come get them to go to my house. I am very hurt and upset by what the father is doing to our relationship and I want it to be changed. I will be representing myself and feel very confident about doing so, so please DO NOT recommend me to get a lawyer. Thanks.

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Susan Kathleen Duke


    Contributor Level 14


    Lawyers agree

    Best Answer
    chosen by asker

    Answered . The problem is with proof. Proving that he is speaking ill of you to the children will be difficult. I know you say you do not wish to hire an attorney, but your chances without an attorney are very low.

  2. Jayson Lutzky


    Contributor Level 20


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You should request that the judge appoint an attorney for the children to represent the children. You can also bring out to the judge the issue of parental alienation. You should document the chronology of the interactions between the father, the children and yourself. I know that you stated that you do not want to hire an attorney, howeve, in a battle for change of custody and parental alienation an experienced family law attorney would be helpful.

  3. Lawrence Allen Weinreich

    Contributor Level 18

    Answered . Based upon the father's actions which are to interfere with your rights and his inability to forster a relationship between you and the children there is a good chance with all other things being equal that you can get custody.

    I hope you found this answer helpful and if so, please let me know by clicking the "Mark as Helpful" button at the bottom of this answer. It’s easy and appreciated. You can also choose a "best answer" if you wish. This is easy to do and greatly appreciated.

    This advice is not meant to create an attorney-client relationship and is a general anwer to the question posed.

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