Divorce and required payments

In Washington, your spouse does not have the option to deny a divorce. If you petition for a divorce (dissolution) you will get one. Your spouse also does not determine the custody. If you cannot agree to a parenting plan, the Court will decide in a fair and equitable manner. I assume your step-son is your wife's son from a previous marriage. If you have not formally adopted, you will likely not get custody of him. I assume the 9 year old is both you and your wife's. If you cannot agree on custody, the court will decide based on the best interests of the child. There is no presumption in Washington that the mom gets custody. In any case, it is likely that the parent without custody will have visitation rights. Property division works the same way. If you cannot agree, the court will decide in a fair and equitable manner. Alimony is typically not awarded in WA, and child support is determined by a schedule based on number of children and the income of both parents. It sound like this is likely to be contested, in which case you should consult a family law attorney.