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Discovery during divorce process - strip club visits

Asked in Attleboro, MA - 10 months

During the discovery process, I found that my spouse had made some ATM withdrawals that could be used for strip club visits. I had filed a no-fault divorce, but I'm wondering if I can change that to a fault divorce based on adultery and try to prove it. Is it worth it? Would that increase my share of the property settlement?

Attorney Answers (4)

William N. Chambers

William N. Chambers

Holyoke Divorce / Separation Lawyer

Licensed in MA

Answered 10 months ago. Nothing there indicates adultery, as such it wouldn't be worth the time to even try amending for a fault based divorce. As for property settlement, depending on the timing of the ATM withdrawals (if they were after you filed for divorce) perhaps an argument could be made he was spending down the marital estate, but that would be a major reach.

Best of luck in a difficult situation.
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Elliot S Coren

Elliot S Coren

Wellesley Divorce / Separation Lawyer

Licensed in MA

Answered 10 months ago. Hi

You may amend (change) your divorce complaint but I would suggest the grounbd of cruel and abusive treatment, not adultery. In order to prove adultery you must specifically identify and name the other woman and bring her into your divorce lawsuit. Further, you must prove there was sexual intimacy. This is pretty much an impossible standard since all you know is that he visited a strip club. In this day and age, judges are not swayed by paramours and strip club visits. The only issue judges feel is important in this area is whether the philandering spouse spent substantial marital assets on the paramour. The only probable consequence of raising this issue in the divorce is the embarrassment to your husband. I don't kniow whether that will improve any financial offer he may make. It may back fire and cauuse him to be less inclined to be fair in resolving the case. This is definitely an area where byou need to seek a lawyer's advice abd representation. Good luck.


Steve Coren
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Henry Lebensbaum

Henry Lebensbaum

Andover Criminal Defense Attorney

Licensed in MA

Answered 10 months ago. Let it go. This is not adultery.


henry lebensbaum esq 300 Brickstone Sq Ste 201 andover, ma -- attorneylebensbaum@verizon.net (978) 749-3606.
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Criminal Law (all misdemeanor & felonies in District and Superior Courts), Drunk Driving and Drug arrests, Sex... more
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Jaye L. Samuels

Jaye L. Samuels

Needham Divorce / Separation Lawyer

Licensed in MA

Answered 10 months ago. While many of the attorneys here have answered the basic question, I don't think they've answered the important question: is it worth it?

The short answer is no. Judges aren't morality police (nor do they want to be) and they have broad discretion in deciding how to divide marital property. This sort of conduct is one of an incredibly long list of factors they consider, and I have on good authority that they don't want to hear about it. Nor do I think this amounts to cruel and abusive treatment. You MAY be able to claim that he is squandering marital assets (not a ground for divorce, but a theory to be argued regarding the division of property). I would recommend obtaining the services of a family law attorney to help you determine whether or not it's worthwhile to proceed on that basis.
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