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Did I commit sexual assault or sexual contact and should I get a defense lawyer?

New Haven, CT |

I got drunk one night and me and her were passed out drunk in bed. I do remember for sure though that I didn't touch her genitalia or anything and touched at most her pubic hair, but I had my hand in her underwear. It was basically just hovering around that area, but I didn't want to be rapist so I stopped myself after hovering for a while and pulled my hand out. So I decided instead to just spoon with her and wrap my arm around her bare tummy. I woke up the next day and she says I touched her sexually and would charge me for rape, sexual assault and harassment. I know I didn't rape, but did I commit sexual assault? She also says I made her touch my junk, but I know I didn't and if I was about to I would've stopped myself.

I said everything here in the worst possible light with a bit of exaggeration looking at it again. This was at a New Years party and I know I got consent from her before I brought her home after we hooked up. When we got back to my place the above happened and I'm saying it in the worst way possible. I'm worried and I don't want this to happen again. It doesn't seem like she is actually charging me anymore.

Attorney Answers 6


  1. You need to stop putting your stuff out on the Internet. Likewise don't talk about it with anyone other than an attorney. If you have been charged, you absolutely need an attorney; if the police tell you that they want to talk to you, then you need counsel. Do not talk to the police under any circumstance. I'm not sure what the meaning of the tag "police brutality" is in this situation. If you haven't been charged yet, you could simply wait provided you can refrain fro talking about it further.


  2. Sexual assault in Connecticut is divided into a series of degrees, which ultimately categorize the offenses by the quality of contact, the degree of force or threat of force used and/or the relationship between the defendant and complainant. “Sexual contact” is defined to include “any contact with the intimate parts of a person not married to the actor for the purpose of sexual gratification of the actor …” Additionally, “Intimate parts” is further defined to include, among other things “inner thighs, buttocks or breasts.” If you believe that a complaint is being made against you, it would most likely be in your best interest to refrain from discussing the situation and seek legal counsel.

    Any content provided via Avvo.com is informational only. It does not constitute legal advice. Providing said information does not constitute, nor does it create, an attorney-client relationship between Brown, Paindiris & Scott, LLP, or any of its attorneys and any receiver. The information provided on these pages is general only, and you should not act upon this information without consulting with an attorney.


  3. Talk to a criminal defense lawyer


  4. If you want to unburden your soul you should talk to a priest or a rabbi, not post specific details regarding potentially criminal conduct. Consult with an experienced criminal defense attorney and discuss all of the details regarding the night in question in a privileged and confidential setting. Her memory of the night might differ dramaticaaly from yours, or she may experience "buyer's remorse" after the fact. In any event, talk to a lawyer and no more postings on public sites such as this one. Capisce?


  5. I would add one thing to all of the advice from the other attorneys, even if you have not been charged at the moment, it is in your best interests to speak to an experienced criminal defense attorney before this goes any further. A consult should answer your questions and give you some direction in the event that this situation continues to deteriorate.

    Note: This response DOES NOT constitute legal advice and therefore no specific action should be taken in reliance thereon. No attorney-client relationship is created through this response. You should speak to an licensed attorney in your state who is competent to answer your question before taking any action with regard to this question.


  6. You do not have to have intercourse in order to commit a sexual assault. In your case, I assume there is no forensic evidence establishing intercourse so it boils down into a "he said, she said." Two drunk people at a New Year's Eve Party are not the most reliable witnesses. Given that fact, ,I don't see a charge being lodged against you. Even so, you need to protect yourself. Keep your mouth shut and get a lawyer (see advice of other responders)

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