Child custody

My daughter, a registered nurse who works night duty, has had her parental rights much reduced because her ex-husband reported her to CPS in Santa Cruz, CA. The basis of his complaint was that he suspected my daughter of using illegal drugs. I have read his report describing the initial reasons for his alarm, and as far as I can see, it amounts to nothing more than unsupported accusations. The most substantive details he could bring up were that once when the two parents were supposed to exchange their parenting roles, my daughter was still asleep and was hard to rouse, and also that her relationship with her boyfriend, a man with two young children of his own, was tumultuous and distressing for their daughter. (I regret to say that I must agree with the latter; but it is at least a reasonable question as to whether it is worse for the child to be deprived contact with her mother, especially when you consider the present alternative).

Despite this lack of any real evidence of abuse or neglect, CPS instantly and uncritically allowed the father to assume all custody, with limited visiting privileges to my daughter (after much distress this was increased to 2 sessions of 4 hours a week; previously it had been one visit supervised by her mother-in-law–more about her in a minute.)

My daughter was also subject to random drug tests at the whim of her ex-husband. She submitted to these, though with much resentment, and none conclusively proved positive. A couple were doubtful, but not decisive, and it is generally known that there are many perfectly legal foods and medicines which will give some false positives for illegal drugs.

Every time she has returned to the court for re-assessment of the situation, she has insisted that this has all been deeply prejudiced against her, pointed out the insufficiency of the drug test results, and asked that her custody be restored. Restrictions on her visitations have been relaxed a little: two visits a week instead of one, with no supervision– but each time her period of "good behavior probation" has been extended. She has once again reluctantly to submit to some further tests, but her main point is that it seems that CPS will never be satisfied until it gets a positive drug test and can deny her custody indefinitely.

I was present at one of her hearings. It was perfectly obvious that the judge had not read her responses to the accusations of her ex-husband, and had taken all his opinions from the recommendations of the court mediator. When it became obvious to me that a great deal of highly relevant material had been simply ignored, I raised my hand and asked if I might speak in my daughter's behalf. "No," said the judge, and that was that. No reason, no way to respond.

Very important fact about this case: The child's mother-in-law used to be (maybe still is) the head of CPS in Santa Cruz. The mediator worked under her and they are well acquainted. The mediator makes exactly the recommendations that support the father's and mother-in-law's wishes, and the judge always accepts them without consideration of countervailing arguments.

The consequences of this forced separation from her daughter have been appalling for my daughter, and in my opinion can only be most serious psychologically for my granddaughter. I have been told that when she asks her father or his mother whether her mother is a bad person, they reply, "I can't answer that question."

It is apparent to me that my daughter will never receive a fair hearing in this court. So my first question is: Is there any way to go above this court?

It also occurs to me that there is a very real case that the father's family is highly dysfunctional and is a harmful environment for the child. Strange sexual innuendos seem to be rife. Is there any way to bring a case against that family, to reverse the custody situation?

One further question: It seems there may be no proof of service on file anywhere. Relevant? - Is this your question? Add additional information
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Answers (6)

Michael E Hendrickson

Michael E Hendrickson

Contributor Level 7
It would seem that it may be time for your daughter to engage the services of an attorney who can more effectively represent her interests in regard to these matters before this court than apparently what's happened thus far. (Your question gives no indication that your daughter has ever retained counsel for these matters.)
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Marshall William Waller

Marshall William Waller

Contributor Level 7
You (your daughter) MUST hire an experienced family law attorney NOW. I realize that this may be financially difficult for you at this time, but you MUST find a way to get in front of the judge in a setting where the judge will realize that you are aware of your remedies and are prepared to assert them. The judge is evidently of the opinion that he needn't adhere to rules of evidence and the like (which I am assuming based on your recitation of the facts), which is what is contributing to these problems. It does indeed appear that there are serious conflict if interest issues here as well. I suggest your daughter (and you) contact the Women's Center at UC Santa Cruz for help. They can be reached at (831) 459-2072. This may not be the perfect place for her, but it is a start., They have a very informative website that I have listed below. Once there, click on "legal help." Good luck.
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lotuspotion

I am writing because I am the daughter in question; let me make a few corrections. 1. I have never had a positive drug test. I have had a "diluted" drug test from drinking too much water (the first one and only one I ever took for CPS) 2. CPS told me they wanted me to drug test right away and sign over "temporary" custody to my ex and told me that if I did not my daughter would be "put into foster care and getting her back would be a lengthy process." The form I signed was with my ex in a coffee shop. There was no witnesses, no informed consent, and he did not give me copies. I never received anything after that from the courts (ie; a summons to a fair trial, per chance? Or maybe the actual order?). When the test came back "diluted" CPS called my Ex before they even called me, and it was my daughter who called me and said, "mommy, i heard how you cheated on the test." When they finally let me in on it, they said, "your test came back diluted, which means you did something to tamper with the test, and we consider that a positive. " Nevermind the fact that drinking water can cause this result and did cause the result. When I retested a week later, in order to show that I was not on drugs, they told me they "didn't really care because I had already signed over custody and if I wanted to get my custody back I needed to do it through the famiy courts".
3. My ex Mother in Law was not the head of CPS, she is director of family counseling services and prior to that the Women's Commission, however, the court mediator USED to be the head of CPS and it can be inferred that they must know each other. 4. I am no longer with the man in question, I recently took out a restraining order and with my help, assisted their mother in getting full custody of his children. He is now on the run for child abuse related to drug use.
5. After 6 months of back and forth court dates, I asked the judge to just please, look at the file in front of him. Is there, was there EVER an order that granted my ex sole custody as he claims? and the judge shuffled through the file, couldn't find it (since it was never there) and said, yeah, well, we're making the orders right now, so whatever agreement you and your ex had prior has nothing to do with me... So, he's saying that since the whole thing started, and it was started by me I might add in the sense that it was ME who filed to get my cusody restored, not my ex and yet I was the one who has had to prove my innocence again and again, He, nor the Mediator noticed that? They didn't notice that custody never was granted to my ex in the first place but they acted like it had the whole time and made orders as related to that assertation, like, "the father shall continue to have legal and physical custody and the mother shall be allowed 2 visits per week..."
In addition, my ex told me that I wasn't allowed to call his home phone. Ever. And if I did, his girlfriend would say, "you aren't supposed to be calling here", no doubt my daughter sitting right next to her...and my daughter was also "forbidden" to accept any kind of gift from me. Not even photos, or necklaces, or a blanket I made for her, or cards or letters I sent. They didn't tell me that though, they just pretended that she was allowed to have them and then my mother in law would put it all in a big trunk in her house. You know, to make sure my evil didn't come near the child of course.
My daughter began to exhibit signs of obsessive compulsive disorder. I told my ex this and offered to pay for her to see a professional. I tried to communicate this to my ex and he refused to respond except for in an email that said, "I have chosen not to engage with you." 7 months later I found out he had been putting her in therapy without my knowledge or consent, certainly not any kind of involvement. He also took her out of the country without telling me.
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lala

That is so appalling! Please get your daughter to the media if she can't afford a cutthroat lawyer to work on her behalf! I can't imagine a worse plight for a mother, and it seems clear that there is a serious conflict of interest if CPS is so closely tied to the mother-in-law...Is there a CPS supervisor you can contact? I would lodge a complaint against CPS for this behavior and I would do so on the NEWS - make this public.
Good luck to you - I will pray for you and your daughter!
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manalisayk

I read your story and I just want you to know I feel for your daughter. I am in a similar situation, except my ex husband abused me in front of our 5 year old, screaming, raging and threatening me. I went for help at a Domestic Violence shelter. They reported this and other incidents that occurred to CPS. Unfortunately when CPS came out and my daughter's father learned of this he told her not to tell the ladies what he did to mommy. Well, being 5 and only having 15 minutes, she didn't. My ex was so scared because he knows he did what he did. Once he was cleared though he went running to the courthouse, claiming I made false allegations and even went as far as saying I said he sexually abused our daughter, even after he attached the document from CPS that it was neglect. Anyway, he thought he would make me out to appear like the crazy and unfit parent, so he decided to add a little drama to his declaration and said I was stalking him as well. He never served me and I thought I was at court for child support because that was the initial hearing. Anyway, he got custody from 32% increased to 55% and of course I lost the difference. He was rewarded for his bad behavior, so he went full force since then. He decided to start making claim after claim about my behavior problems as he calls them. He even set up a situation with my PG&E to call it identity theft, closing my account, which he was still linked since he did not remove his name and then let it go to internal collections, dramatizing the situation to make it appear it severely affected his credit. He is desperate to have me lose our daughter. He will do anything now that he learned what makes the judge tick. Our system doesn't support mothers due to a long history apparently of some perception we are the problem. The problem is if a man calls CPS like in your case they seem to favor him because maybe the courts think men aren't vindictive, but if that is the case the courts are wrong. My ex is more vindictive than any individual I have ever met.
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Debra

My heart goes out to you. my situation is one such as yours. And it is in California too. Shasta county, Redding, Califonia, My daughter did wrong and her 5 kids were taken from her. I agree that she made some choices that marit the removal of her children. During this time when she had disappeared with the children and her strange boyfriend. The father of the first two boys and i were the ones keeping in contact with each other and keeping in contact with the attorities that were supposed to be searching for them. they disappeared on Jan 3, 08 and were not found until jly 5 of 08. for all those months all of us worried and tried to find them. After they were found and not by any talent of the attorities. dps stepped in and put the children in foster homes. These children had never known anyking of life without each other and were very much attached to each other. northern california childrens courts were really shocked about all the family in southern california that gathered together in northern calif. for the court dates. Each and everyone of us had to feel out papers to see if we were good enough to have our grandchildren, and all other relatives. It is a much smaller county in redding. and favorites were blatelingly shown. dps workjer incharge of the childrens outcome used bribes and any kind of threat, trick, she could come up with. The relatives were all treated like out casts and now the two smallest girls 3 yr old, and a 1 yr. old are somewhere up there in redding and none of us are aloud to get any kind of information., we're all left in the dark. i will keep you in my prayers. with your situation. California has gone to hell.
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