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Asheboro, NC |

My ex, father of my child, has not been around for 8 years coming up in jan 09. he doesnt pay support only when it is taken from his unemployment. always in trouble, but wont sign his rights over . how can i get him to , or how can i have my daughters last name changed without him having to pay lots of money . he doesnt have anything to do with her, but he is just being a jerk as far as not turning his rights over. It would be different if he was in her life or had been , but when we divorced back in 99 he really has not seen her since. She doesnt want anything to do with him and is so afraid of him l.He has never sent a christmas card, birthday card, or present, and only time he has even made an effort was when he and his girlfriend was taking pics of us on their camera phones in a resteraunt one day from their table.and when we went to pay he got up and followed usand tried to come by my vehicle where my child had already went and got in becasue she knew what he was up to. The other time he had anything to do with her was whjen she was skating at the local roller trink with a friend and his girlfriend was there and called him to come down there and she corenered her in the bathroom trying to talk to her and he just sat back intimidating her staring. She called me and then when i got her and left they follwed me out and watched us to the car. I cant do anything about the things her does , becasue he just doesnt do enough , but he rides down my road constantly and the only people that live there is my family. He goes by my house blowing the horn at us. What can i do??

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The link below explains what it takes to have your husband involuntarily relinquish his rights

Thanks for using Avvo. I am the Legal Community Manager here at Avvo. I am also a lawyer. Because we are receiving so many questions right now, it may take longer for some of our loyal Avvo lawyers to get back to you. In the meantime, I wanted to offer some preliminary help. Please keep in mind that I am not a North Carolina lawyer, and to get a definitive answer on this you should consult a top Avvo-rated lawyer in your area.

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Your question raises immediate issues: 1) you want to terminate the legal rights of your daughter's biological father; and 2) you may be concerned that your daughter's biological father is stalking and intimidating her, you, or both. The best way to protect yourself is to talk to a lawyer in your city about both of these issues. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, contact Legal Aid of NC ( or your local family crisis center.

Parental rights are protected by the United States Constitution, just like free speech or the right to vote. To terminate parental rights, you will be required to show very convincing evidence. And you will need to follow a detailed procedure that gives your daughter's father an opportunity to explain his actions - and the state may even appoint an attorney for him if he cannot afford to hire one. Courts are reluctant to cut the legal relationship of a minor child to either of her parents.

In North Carolina a mother can file a petition to terminate the parental rights of a father. She has to convince the court of two facts: 1) the father has done something to the child (for example, child abuse), or has not fulfilled his responsibilities to the child (for example, failed to pay child support). The General Statutes (NC laws) list 10 specific reasons the court can terminate parental rights, and you must convince the court with clear and convincing evidence that your daughter's father falls into one or more of these 10 categories.

Here are a few of the 10 reasons that might fit in your circumstances: 1) parent has abused or neglected the juvenile; 2) one parent has been awarded physical custody (by a court) and the other has willfully failed without justification to pay child support; 3) the parent is incapable of providing proper care and supervision because of substance abuse or mental illness, and there is reasonable probability that this incapacity will continue for the foreseeable future; 4) the same parent has had parental rights terminated for a different juvenile, and he still will not establish a safe home environment.

If you are able to convince the court that your daughter's father falls into one of the 10 categories above, the court may conclude that it has the legal power to terminate his parental rights. But first you must convince the court of a second fact: 2) that terminating the parental rights of your daughter's father is in her best interests. There are no hard and fast rules for determining "best interests." As you describe your situation, the court will likely consider whether your daughter's life will be more consistent, safe, happy and/or successful if her father's rights are terminated. The laws of NC encourage the court not to terminate parental rights unless the child will clearly be better off without the parent. Your local lawyer will be able to talk to you about how the court in your county looks at circumstances like yours.

The other issue in your question relates to whether your daughter's father is stalking and/or intimidating you and your daughter. In NC, a protective order is available to a child or mother when the father puts her in fear of physical injury or continually harasses her. You may have heard this court order referred to as a restraining order or a 50B order (named after the NC statute that describes the process for obtaining the order). If you are concerned for your safety, please seek out a local attorney or agency that helps victims of domestic violence.

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I have almost the same situation as the lady from asheboro,nc my current husband has been taking care of them since the day we became a couple.but my x has been in and out of jail and rights to his previous kids have been terminated what do i do

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