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Challenging a Temporary Restraining Order in Los Angeles County

Asked over 3 years ago - Los Angeles, CA

I recently separated from my fiance. Allegedly the reason that he is giving is an "argument" at dinner. I've been distraught and I've attempted to contact him for further clarification, given that we have a great deal of history together.

My concern is that before we separated he was abusing drugs and alcohol. I think that the drugs and alcohol were clouding his judgment and this was often a source of our fighting.

Given that I am no longer in his life and he is not contacting me, I sent a letter to his parents letting them know that he has a drug and alcohol problem, and has HIV, and thus needs help. I also alerted some of his friends.

He has now filed a restraining order against me, claiming that because I've communicated personal information to his parents and friends, that I'm threatening and harassing him.

Of course, he hasn't been communicating with me at all, so any emails or messages from me have gone unanswered, despite the fact that he still is holding on to possessions of mine.

My question is - he has filed a Temporary Restraining Order that has no enforceable orders, and given the circumstances, does it seem valid and likely that a judge would grant a full Restraining Order with enforceable orders? I feel there is no merit here as I was attempting to act in a way that most former fiances would act.

How could I prepare myself and express to the judge that I wasn't attempting to hurt or harass my ex-fiance? I was simply concerned about his well-being and gave personal information to people that I thought could help. Furthermore, I've continued to contact him (but not since the TRO) because he still was in possession of personal items, and he never really explained his rational for our separation.

Should I simply share my side with the judge? Or should I prepare more? Also, I noticed that my fiance listed in the paper work that we were dating, but we were engaged - so he was not truthful there. Can I motion for some kind of dismissal because my fiance is not supplying accurate information.

Thanks

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Attorney answers (2)

Mario Manuel Cava

Reputation Level 6

Answered over 3 years ago. Litigation Lawyer in Seattle, WA.

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As a disclaimer, I practice law in the state of Washington, and not California, but I suspect the outcomes will be similar. Still, my answer here is NO substitute for the legal advice of a CA licensed attorney who has submitted a notice of appearance to represent you in court, and this answer is not intended to create an attorney-client relationship.

When a person petitions for a civil temporary protection order, and receives that order, any contact whatsoever (outside of legal service of process) might be considered a violation. If there is a petition for a permanent order, you will be served with notice of a hearing to present yourside of the facts and to contest the petition. I would suggest that you just tell your side of the story to the judge. The judge will probably issue the protection order because the courts are concern with "protecting" the petitioner and the standard of proof is fairly low (at least in Washington).

If you are concerned about your property, your only recourse would be legal action. It may not be worth suing for the items if the value of the property is going to be less than the cost of taking legal action. In any case, beware of any contact directly or INDIRECTLY with your ex becuase even indirect contact through third parties, email, text messages or phone communication would be considered a violation of the order. So if you do decide to take legal action, you would want to be sure to have an attorney separating you and any communications with your ex. That is becuase legal service of process would (likely) not be considered a violation and a legal process server would be the one serving papers on your ex.

If you are concerned about your ex's health and well being, unfortunately there is little you can do. If he wants to eliminate contact--honor that decision or you may face exposure to criminal liability.

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C Logan McKechnie

Reputation Level 13

Answered over 3 years ago. Criminal Defense Attorney in Merced, CA.

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Based on the material you have included in your question, there is no way to answer the direct question: What a judge will do will depend on what happens at the hearing. If you do not attend, the restraining order will be issued. You really need to contact a local attorney. The presentation to the court will be most important in the court's decision. I'm sure he or his attorney will express to the court that you are just making up reasons because of the break-up and your only intent was to damage him and his relationship with his parents when you wrote the letter. Also, he will claim that your attempts to contact him were pure harassment. Hire a lawyer.

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