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Can visitation be taken away until a parent gets therapy?

Oak Grove, KY |

My sons father has a history of domestic abuse and anger management with his ex wife and had to take a class and spent a weekend in jail. I recently left him after he physically abused me and due to his anger when he came back from his army deployment. He has visitation with our 5 yr old son now and my son recently told me that dad and his new girlfriend are constantly fighting and cursing and this scares him. Can visitation be taken away until he gets some counseling. I don't have any proof of the abuse except from my 5yr old and 16 yr old. I never called the police? will the courts listen to a 5 yr old?

Attorney Answers 2


Consult a local attorney about modifying visitation.

The state decides what happens with the charges.

Don't stay silent, speak out! National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) /

The Cycle of Domestic Violence

In 1979, psychologist Lenore Walker found that many violent relationships follow a common pattern or cycle. The entire cycle may happen in one day or it may take weeks or months. It is different for every relationship and not all relationships follow the cycle—many report a constant stage of siege with little relief.

This cycle has three parts:

Tension building phase—Tension builds over common domestic issues like money, children or jobs. Verbal abuse begins. The victim tries to control the situation by pleasing the abuser, giving in or avoiding the abuse. None of these will stop the violence. Eventually, the tension reaches a boiling point and physical abuse begins.

Acute battering episode—When the tension peaks, the physical violence begins. It is usually triggered by the presence of an external event or by the abuser’s emotional state—but not by the victim’s behavior. This means the start of the battering episode is unpredictable and beyond the victim’s control. However, some experts believe that in some cases victims may unconsciously provoke the abuse so they can release the tension, and move on to the honeymoon phase.

The honeymoon phase—First, the abuser is ashamed of his behavior. He expresses remorse, tries to minimize the abuse and might even blame it on the partner. He may then exhibit loving, kind behavior followed by apologies, generosity and helpfulness. He will genuinely attempt to convince the partner that the abuse will not happen again. This loving and contrite behavior strengthens the bond between the partners and will probably convince the victim, once again, that leaving the relationship is not necessary.

This cycle continues over and over, and may help explain why victims stay in abusive relationships. The abuse may be terrible, but the promises and generosity of the honeymoon phase give the victim the false belief that everything will be all right.

Good Luck,


James Regan, LL.M*, Esq. (Master of Intercultural Human Rights Law) (Visit us on Facebook)

Educational purposes answer. | | | | | Non-privileged answer.

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You need to consult with a Family Court lawyer in your area for advice. The family court judge does not want any child placed in harms way. Get advice from an experienced attorney that practices in the family court in your county.

I am trying to give you a general answer to your question. We do not have an attorney-client relationship by this response on the avvo website. I have not been retained to represent you. I am licensed to practice law in Kentucky and in federal court in this state and the Southern District of Indiana. You need to seek legal advice from an attorney licensed to practice in your area..

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