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Can my soon to be ex-wife keep me from bringing my children around my girlfriend?

Sayville, NY |

I currently live with my girlfriend. my soon to be ex says I can not have my kids at the house or bring my girlfriend around them. I brought them to the house 2 times and got a letter from her attorney saying to stop immediately or they will file a motion. are there any laws stating I can not bring them to my residence?

Attorney Answers 4

Posted

The judge/magistrate will determine if house visits are necessary, your girlfriend's presence is detrimental to your relationship with the children, and whether or not custody and/or more liberal visitation for you is in the best interest of the child.

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Posted

Generally, the custodial parent cannot dictate whether the NCP can have a bf or gf present at their home during visitation, unless the presence of that person is somehow not in the best interests of the child for real documented reasons, such as drug use, abuse, neglect, DV issues, sex offender registry, protective orders, Child Protective Services involvement, etc.

An attempt of an ex to simply frustrate the normal social relationships of an adult based on the child custody jurisdiction and obvious spite or ill will is not going to be warmly received, although it is the underlying source of many custody/support/visitation petitions to simply retaliate against a former spouse or lover based on the only things left to argue about in court: the children.

Character witnesses for the girlfriend might be useful, especially if she is an "upstanding citizen" with an education, job, etc. and "clean record", in terms of her effect on the children during visitation.

Hiring your own lawyer to deal with your ex's and her lawyer's bullying tactics might be a good idea as well.

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Paul Karl Siepmann

Paul Karl Siepmann

Posted

Unfortunately, judges in Suffolk are predisposed to issuing orders precluding the exercise of parenting time in the presence of a paramour until the entry of the Judgment of Divorce.

Posted

You should speak to your attorney about this. if you don't have one, you should definitely at least consult with one, particularly since your wife is represented. More information would be needed to adequately advise you. How long have you been physically separated? How long has the divorce been pending? How old are the children? Is this the first time they've met your girlfriend? Is there a Judge assigned to your case and if so, who? Is there an attorney for the children, and if so, who? All of these things need to be considered. That being said, as a Suffolk County matrimonial attorney, I can readily state that such motions are typically granted. Get counsel.

I am not your attorney and any posts/messages or responses to posts/messages can not establish an attorney-client relationship. www.PatchogueAttorney.com You should not rely upon free legal advice and I disclaim any liability for the results if you do.

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Jack Richard Lebowitz

Jack Richard Lebowitz

Posted

Wow, really? Up here it's a loser argument, unless the gf/bf is an obvious "dirtbag". People have mixed families. Ex's have to get over it. It's the 21st century. Glad I'm not practicing in Suffolk County. :-)

Paul Karl Siepmann

Paul Karl Siepmann

Posted

Yeah, it's ridiculous, but happens all the time down here.

Jack Richard Lebowitz

Jack Richard Lebowitz

Posted

I'm sure that interfaces just wonderfully with the 2010 "no fault" divorce laws which, unlike the previous statute, basically required warring spouses to negotiate agree to a separation agreement, now seems to facilitate open ended dragged out divorce proceedings by the "less monied" spouse who seeks interim maintenance and counsel fee shifting and where it (appears to me based on my limited experience) makes it MORE difficult to get a speedy, just and equitable divorce settlement than the older "fault" system and a lot more "gamesmanship" by matrimonial/family lawyers. Unintended consequences of those wonderful laws of our legislature crammed down in the middle on the night by three guys in a room. :-/

Posted

YES. The Judges in Suffolk County will, upon request, restrict your visits so that your girlfriend will not be present. Of course, once you are divorced you will be free to have your girlfriend on your visits. You really need to go over these things with an attorney.
Howard E. Knispel, Esq.
Commack, NY
631-864-7589

The above is a general answer and is not considered legal advice. You should contact an attorney before proceeding to take any legal action, signing any papers or upon service of a summons. Howard E. Knispel 631-864-7589

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Jack Richard Lebowitz

Jack Richard Lebowitz

Posted

Oy vey. See my discussion above with Mr. Siepmann. Too bad the lawyers get a bad name because of the problems the Legislature has created. Yes, it creates legal work, but the clients never seem to be happy and shoot the messenger even when you're doing a good job (or the best you can given some of the inequities in these laws and the games they inspire).

Howard E. Knispel

Howard E. Knispel

Posted

The Judges here are still old fashioned. They still call bf/gf "paramours" and I have had several Judges threaten to suspend visitation if paramours are present while the divorce is proceeding.

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