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Can my husband take our son out of state without my consent if we're not divorced or separated yet? I want sole physical custody

Ashburn, VA |

My husband has been travelling a lot for work and wants to have our son join him on some of his business trips. He wants to take him OCONUS but I won't allow it and have told him I won't agree to get him a passport. But am worried he will take him CONUS/in-state without me or my consent. He wants to hire a nanny to go with them and watch my son when he is on business trips when I wouldn't be able to go (which would be all the time because I work full time as a Federal employee and handle the bulk of our son's care--insurance, childcare, clothing, food, baths, bedtime). I don't like the idea for several reasons-mostly that I don't feel it's in the best interests for my son since he is only 4-yo and needs to be in school (pre-k daycare). How can I prove I should get sole physical custody?

Attorney Answers 2


  1. No separation. No divorce. No danger to the child. Therefore, no legal grounds to stop your husband.

    See a family law attorney ASAP if you want to start the process.

    NOT LEGAL ADVICE. FOR EDUCATION AND INFORMATION ONLY. DO NOT RELY ON ANY ADVICE YOU RECEIVE FROM ME OR ANY OTHER ATTORNEY IN THIS FORUM. Legal advice comes after a complete review of the facts and relevant documents and an expressed (written) agreement of representation that forms attorney-client confidentiality. Neither of these two events can occur in this forum. Mr. Rafter is licensed to practice in the Commonwealth of Virginia and the US Federal Courts in Virginia. His answers to any Avvo question are rooted in general legal principles--NOT your specific state laws. There is no implied or actual attorney-client relationship arising from this education exchange. You should speak with an attorney licensed in your state, to whom you have provided all the facts before you take steps that may impact your legal rights. Mr. Rafter is under no obligation to answer subsequent emails or phone calls related to this or any other matter.


  2. Until there is an Order prohibiting it, the child's father has as much right to take the child anywhere just as much as the child's mother.

    Please remember that if you find an answer particularly helpful, please mark it as helpful or "best answer" so that the attorneys who volunteer their time to answer these questions have feedback. This answer is only for informational purposes, is not legal advice, and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is different and must be judged on its own unique facts.

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