Can my ex-wife put restrictions on when I move in with a woman in my divorce papers?

Asked over 1 year ago - Cambridge, MA

My ex-wife has added a clause to our divorce papers stating I cannot move in with a woman until after a year of dating claiming it's for the well being of our child. Is this legal? Do I have a solid case to fight this?

Attorney answers (8)

  1. Karla Mansur

    Contributor Level 13


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Your ex-wife cannot control your personal life or who you do and do not move in with. She also can't control who you introduce your children to, barring that the 3rd party would pose any danger to the child. That being said it sounds like you are not going to trial but trying to come up with an agreement you can both live with. If this isn't something you can live with then you should refuse. You might compromise but agreeing to not introduce the children to anyone you are dating until the 3 month mark or something like that, but I personally would not advise my clients to agree to a stipulation like that. It sounds like you are negotiating so push back a little on this and find something you can live with. If you cannot agree and it goes to trial it's very unlikely a judge would order something like this.
    Best of Luck!


    Karla Mansur, Esq.
    Law Office of Karla M. Mansur, LLC
    81 Middle Street
    Concord, MA 01742
    P: (978) 341-5040 / F: (978) 401-0687

    I am ethically required to state that the above answer does not create an attorney/client relationship. These... more
  2. Donald Lloyd Pitman


    Contributor Level 9


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . I would agree completely with the prior response. Unless there is some danger to your child, a court will not likely put any restrictions on who you are with or any contact between your child and any new partner. Although this is fact specific, I would strongly suggest pushing back on this and see what happens; there is nothing to be gained by giving in at this point. You may want to consider a limitation for overnight visits for a short period; however, this is very fact specific. I would suggest contacting an attorney to discuss this issue. Many law firms - such as mine - offer a free consultation to assist you in your case.

  3. Anthony Rao

    Contributor Level 14


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . I would certainly fight any provision that restricts your personal life in any way. So long as the third party poses no risk to your child, there is absolutely no need for such a ridiculous provision.

    I wish you luck.

    Anthony Rao, Esq.

    The above response is NOT legal advice, and is NOT intended to be legal advice. No Attorney-Client relationship is... more
  4. Henry Lebensbaum

    Contributor Level 20

    Answered . Do not agree to this. This is micro management. What if you added
    clauses that micro managed her sexual and social life.

    Criminal Law (all misdemeanor & felonies in District and Superior Courts), Drunk Driving and Drug arrests, Sex... more
  5. Elliot S Coren


    Contributor Level 11

    Answered . Hi

    A judge cannot do this. If your wife asked for this in the beginni98ng divorce papers (the complaint served on you). I wouldn't worry about it. She can ask for it but a judge cannot restrict who you choose to live with. However, if you have young children, a judge may make orders restricting your girlfriend's presence when the children are with you, if this becomes an issue in the case. Good luck.

    Steve CorenI doubt very much

    This answer does not consitute legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. The answer is... more
  6. Helena S Friedman


    Contributor Level 7

    Answered . I agree with Attorney Mansur. I imagine your ex wife does not want your children exposed to a parade of live in girlfriends. I imagine you agree and do not want the children exposed to a parade of live in boyfriends at their mother's home either. While negotiating, point out that each of you wants what is best for the children and you should trust each other to make good choices.

  7. Hindell S Grossman

    Contributor Level 7

    Answered . While I agree with the prior counsel who stated that your Wife does not have the right to control your personal life, I do ask that you carefully consider the impact your chosen living arrangement will have on your child, and whether it is in fact in your child's best interest. There are child development experts, therapists and other resources available to help with the process if you deem it necessary. I hope this helps.
    Hindell Grossman@Grossman & Associates, Ltd., Newton & Nantucket, MA --617.969.0069

    There is no substitute for a thorough consultation with an experienced lawyer. The only way to give legal advise... more
  8. Joel A. Abu

    Contributor Level 8

    Answered . You should maybe separate this issue from the rest of the divorce because it really looks like you are talking about a best interest issue.

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Divorce is the process of formally ending a marriage. Divorces may be jointly agreed upon, resolved by negotiation, or decided in court.

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