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Can my ex girlfriend deny my name being on the birth certificate when the child is born? Also can she move to another city?

San Jose, CA |

She's telling me I'm not allowed at the hospital when our kid is going to be born so don't come. She's dictating how much I see our 4 year old. Treating him like he's her property. She has 1 other son whom she doesn't have custody. We recently broke up and this will be our 2nd kid together. She is looking for a job as am I. She moved and got on welfare, foodstamps, cashaid immediately after moving. Please help. It's very hurtful and sad when ur kid is taken away and used to hurt like this. My email and phone number are as follows: jcalvello80@gmail.com and 408-836-6455. Seeing how I'm unemployeed and not on welfare I have money but not a whole lot and my parents most likely will help where they can. Thanks for your time.

Attorney Answers 2


  1. First, you should seek advice from an experienced family law attorney in your area. The primary issue that I can understand from your question is paternity. When the child is born you will want your name of the birth certificate. The mother will need to agree to this by signing a voluntary declaration of paternity. However, if she does not agree to place you on the birth certificate, then after the birth you will need to file the appropriate request for Judgment of Paternity, and request a DNA test. If the DNA test results in a positive match, you will be able to obtain your Judgment of Paternity. After the Judgment, you can then ask the court to change the last name on the birth certificate. Usually, they like to see hyphenated last names. The sooner you do this the more likely the court will grant it.

    As to whether or not she can move, without any orders in place then yes, she can move. You should consult with a local Family Law attorney about filing a Petition to Establish Parental Relationship right away and get orders in place that preclude her from doing so.

    Shawn R. Bunyard. www.tavislaw.com. The discussions above are for general information and DO NOT establish an attorney-client relationship. The discussions shall not constitute legal advice and are not intended to supplant or replace legal advice. You should consult an attorney in your area for legal advice as they will have the proper legal knowledge applicable to your case.


  2. She can exclude you from the hospital, that is her right. Even if you were married, she'd have that right.

    She does NOT have the right to dictate your custodial time. You have to work together. The problem that you have is that you have nothing showing the world that you have joint custody, so if she calls the police on you, they can't enforce your visitation.

    It sounds as though you need to consider filing a Petition to Establish Parentage, and a Request for Orders seeking a joint custody arrangement. The court would then send you to Mediation, where the two of you could work out a parenting schedule.

    Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of California. Responses are based solely on California law unless stated otherwise.

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