Can mediation be denied if the other party does not want to go?

Asked over 2 years ago - Chicago, IL

If I ask for mediation from the judge, can the judge or my husband refuse? I want mediation to talk about reconciliation and/or child custody. The father has an agreed order for custody. The case has not been to trial or hearing yet. There is also domestic violence issues involved. I am the plaintiff in the divorce case.

Attorney answers (4)

  1. J. Richard Kulerski

    Contributor Level 20


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . In IL, judges do not order mediation for the purposes of reconciliation. It is ordered in custody/visitation cases only.

  2. Gary L. Schlesinger


    Contributor Level 20


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . if custody is done, there is nothing to mediate.

    courts do not order mediation for reconciliation. they can order reconciliation counseling which seldom happens and is less often successful. 750 ilcs 5/404a.

    i do not mean to be harsh, but if you have a court case going and a custody order, it seems to me that the prospect of reconciliation is almost non existent. if you do not have a personal therapist, please get one to discuss this issue. your husband has apparently decided definitely to divorce and is moving on with it. you are reluctant. unfortunately, in illinois and most states, if one spouse wants to end it, there will be a divorce. the only issues are when and on what terms.

  3. Judy A. Goldstein

    Contributor Level 20


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Mediation is required under certain circumstances. However, what purpose do you think it will serve for you if the father refuses to go? Additionally, if the father does not wish to reconcile, mediation to discuss reconcilation will only cost you money and accomplish nothing. If you don't have a lawyer, this is where you should spend your money. Hire an experienced lawyer.

  4. Robert Arthur Dulberg

    Contributor Level 1

    Answered . In many States and Federal Courts, including Florida, mediation is mandatory before the parties can go to trial. There are exceptions to when a Court will order a parties to mediation, e.g. in a family case when domestic violence is involved. However, as a general rule, most Judges will require the parties to attend mediation to pursue whether they can resolve the case using the services of a qualified mediator.

Related Topics


Divorce is the process of formally ending a marriage. Divorces may be jointly agreed upon, resolved by negotiation, or decided in court.

Child Custody in a Divorce

Child custody may be physical or legal. Physical custody covers who the child lives with, and legal custody is the right to make decisions.

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