Start with police if you believe she has tapped your phone or hacked your electronic devices.
WIth hard evidence you MIGHT be able to get a protective order--best to see a lawyer before attempting that couse of action.
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Honestly, her having information you sent to someone else is not definitive proof that she is hacking your phone. Hacking your phone is actually not very easy. Unless she is a technical specialist or hired one, where would she have gotten access to your phone? It certainly is possible, but not very likely.
Perhaps the easiest way to settle things down is to put your friendship with her husband on hold until after a divorce is final.
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