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Can I refuse visitation to non-custodial parent if they refuse to give contact information for their babysitter?

Joliet, IL |

My child's mother is the non-custodial parent. She currently lives with another family, and the woman whom she lives with currently provides all babysitting while his mom is at work. My son's mother is moving in with her boyfriend this weekend, and he will be the person now responsible for babysitting while she works. She refuses to give me his contact information. Can I legally not send him until she provides the info?

The Parenting Agreement states " Both parties shall inform each other as to where the minor child will be and who is providing any daycare services for her while the minor child is in their physical care. Each party shall forward to the other the name of the provider, their phone number, and the location as to where the child will be staying. Additionally, each party shall specifically notify the care provider that either of the minor child's parents have a right to contact the provider and get any information regarding the minor child."

Attorney Answers 3

Posted

What you really need to do is go back to court to clean up your parenting orders. Why is the child being left with Mom's boyfriend while Mom works? Why isn't the child left with you?

So, you need to go back to court to fix your agreement. You should work with an attorney to do this -- you should not try to do this on your own. I suspect that you did not have an attorney when the agreement was created. These types of problems usually manifest themselves in agreements where the parties represented themselves. An experienced attorney probably would have anticipated this conflict and crafted an agreement that would dictate a resolution if not avoid the problem altogether.

The same way this problem sprouted and developed in your current agreement; the seeds of new, unforeseen problems likely will be sown and watered in your new agreement if you avoid an attorney's assistance. Do everyone -- including yourself -- a favor: work with an attorney.

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Asker

Posted

I had an attorney. A well reviewed one, at that, who wound up costing me a fortune and nothing but headaches!

Asker

Posted

She has every-other-weekend visitation from 5pm Friday - 7pm Sunday. It wasn't a huge issue before. Should I just tell her it's "right of first refusal", and have him dropped off at my house while she is working? The likelihood of her signing an updated Parenting Agreement is slim to none. It's only been in effect since July. I didn't think it could be altered for 2 years, anyway.

Dean Taradash

Dean Taradash

Posted

Is there "right-of-first-refusal" language in the visitation order? If it's in there, fine. If, however, such language isn't in the order, then you can't use that approach. I'm sorry you had an unfortunate experience with your last attorney. Perhaps you should seek one with an A+ rating with the BBB. Maybe you should call an attorney who offers free consultations to get a more detailed answer. At any rate, you should take action. You're wrong about the "two year moratorium" on seeking to modify things. A parent may seek to modify visitation any time the proposed modification might serve the child's best interest. Indeed, you may seek a modification of a visitation order the same day it's issued if the modification would benefit the child.

Asker

Posted

Thanks, Dean. I thought once the parenting agreement was in effect things would be more simple, but at this point it's just getting worse. Every attorney that's posted on this question is not from my county, so I'm assuming I can't hire any of you! I guess i need to start searching.

Judy A. Goldstein

Judy A. Goldstein

Posted

FYI - There are plenty of outstanding attorneys in your county. You really do need to clean up the provisions of your parenting agreement if they are not working for you. You have a right to know where your child is and a right of first refusal might by possible if the mother is gone for too many hours. Please consult with local counsel

Posted

You can't do anything which would violate a court order. You should go back to court and get all these issues cleaned up the right way. To do that, hire an attorney.

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Posted

Thank you. I won't refuse visitation. Couldn't I just call to talk to him when she is at work, and if I'm not given the information as to who is watching him call the police?

Joseph Pierce O'Brien

Joseph Pierce O'Brien

Posted

I always say that calling the police should be the very last resort. You don't want the minors exposed to that.

Posted

if you are not given the contact info for the sitter, you could refuse the visit but that is risky. but it makes certain the child is safe.

you could do a petition to terminate the visits for refusal to give the contact info. that will result in the judge ordering the contact info.

you could do a petition for contempt for failure to give the contact info. that will result in the judge ordering the contact info.

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Posted

I just filed two petitions for rule to show cause (pro se) for unpaid preschool/daycare costs and her blatant refusal to sign up for "our family wizard" which is part of the agreement. Won't the judge get sick of continuously seeing my name on the docket? I'm not sure if they'll get angry with me and say we should've gone to mediation. We had a 604B evaluator appointed and I had spoken with him and scheduled a meeting (which I wish more than anything would've actually taken place), but she decided to sign the agreement rather than set up her appointment with him. I wish the Judge would've ordered what they saw fit, rather than being in my current situation.

Judy A. Goldstein

Judy A. Goldstein

Posted

Family Wizard is wonderful for communication problems but will not solve your present dilemma. Please hire a layer. Yes, your judge could start to remember your case if you are in court too much. That could go either way - in your favor or not - depending upon your facts.

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