Can i get the custody of my kids if im the one who leave the house?

In California there is a specific statute that says the court should NOT hold it against you if you left the home to keep the peace. You are in exactly the situation that this statute was developed to deal with. In general, it is NOT in the children's best interests to be in a home where abuse is occurring. In fact, in most jurisdictions, if you STAY in an abusive relationship and you have children, the children can potentially be removed from your custody for your FAILURE TO PROTECT them from the abusive situation. You are thinking in the right direction, and it is important that you follow through. A shelter is a good option for you. Their location is usually very secret and confidential, making it hard for him to find you and your kids while you have that 'cooling off' period that you say you need. It will also give you time to seek restraining orders that you may need in order to keep you and your children safe. Start by checking with youtr local sheriff and on the internet for shelters for battered women. Those are good places to start. There are resources available to you that are not as expensive as immediately hiring a lawyer, you may need on later, but work on securing the safety of yourself and your children first.

Since you are in Seattle, call DAWN, Domestic Abuse Women's Network. I don't think we are allowed to post phone numbers in these responses, but you can get the number from directory information or on line. They have a 24 hour number and if they can't help you directly, they should be able to refer you to agencies that will help you find short term shelter where you can also take your children, until you can find a place of your own. They may also be able to help you find inexpensive legal help or refer you to agencies who can. With money being in short supply everywhere, all of these services will be stretched to capacity, but you should get out now, and your should absolutely NOT leave your children behind. Most important, that is common sense, and in the best interests of the children. However, it is also legally a bad idea to leave your children with your abuser.

Understand: leaving an abuser can be a process, rather than an event. That means it can be difficult, scary, and something that takes a few tries. Get good advice and it can be easier, safer, and can happen quicker. I do not tell people that they should or should not get a divorce - that is not the role of an attorney. I can, however, advise you to get safe and decide what you want to do about the husband-wife relationship when you are free to make a voluntary decision. Your choices in life are not voluntary when you or your loved ones are at risk of harm.

If you are not safe you should not stay in the house. If your children are not safe, you should not leave them behind. If your husband goes to jail for a crime, that is not because you reported a crime - it is because he committed a crime. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS. Read that again, and then again if necessary. Re-read it until you believe it. It is true. If he goes to jail it is his fault, he is to blame, and it is the consequence of his choices.

More specifically: If he is hitting you in front of the children, you should obtain a domestic violence protection order and include the children and you should do that immediately. Go to the nearest courthouse on Monday. The court can order him to have no contact with you, no contact with the children and to leave the residence.

I agree contacting DAWN is a good idea; Domestic Abuse Women's Network (DAWN) 24-hour hotline: 425-656-7867

There are other resources available:
Columbia Legal Services 206-464-5911
Lawyer Referral and Volunteer Legal Services 206-623-2551
Northwest Women's Law Center's Legal Information and Referral Service 206-621-7691

If you have been suffering abuse, but haven't done anything because you are thinking that is best for the children, consider what they are experiencing. Don't stay in an abusive relationship for the kids - they are better off if you provide them a stable living environment.

I recommend you speak with a domestic violence advocate for free. Contact King County Superior Court

http://www.metrokc.gov/dvinfo/dv6_0.htm

You can go directly to the Clerk's Office (also called Department of Judicial Administration) in room E-609 on the 6th floor, and go to the Domestic Violence Window. Clerks there will help you with the paperwork required for the process. If you wish to call the Clerk's Office about their services, call (206) 296-7870.

You can go to the Protection Order Advocacy Program in room E-223 on the 2nd Floor of the King County Courthouse. The Protection Order Advocacy Program has advocates who are available to help you fill out the paperwork and go to Court with you. If you wish to call for information about these services, call (206) 296-9547.

More information is available: http://www.protectionorder.org/

ok so ive been where she was..but in my case I did leave..and we got a seperation..he had his place I had mine..we had joint custody of our child...he got evicted from his place had nowhere to go..so me being a nice person let him stay at my place..it all started again..the abuse..cps got involved..come to find out he was abusing our daughter when she would stay with him..but she never talked to me about it..he had told her that something bad would happen to mommy if she told me..so after 18 long months of fighting to get her back..I lost the battle..because I couldn't afford a lawyer and had a court appointed one..who was obviously working in the states behalf and not mine..i my daughter because they put a failure to protect order on me..well she was adopted out to a very good family..i'm thankful for that..but wish i had gotten an expensive lawyer to fight for my rights..anyways all that aside..I have a question..I was told by a friend that if you have a failure to protect order..any child you have can be taken away from you..i was also told by my cps worker that its a case by case determination...so which is true?? was thinking about starting a new family..with a new man...thanks for all your help..and if you are being abused GET OUT ASAP..dont risk losing your family over an abusive man...father or not..thats my advice..