Defamation is a false statement of fact, about another person, that harms that person's reputation. In this circumstance, you seem to think that her publication of the texts means that she's the one who published them, but you're not exactly right. When you sent the allegedly defamatory texts to your husband, that was enough for publication. Remember, defamation needs three people -- the subject of the defamation, the speaker, and at least one listener.
That's the bad news. Now the good news:
First off, you told your husband that she was "accused" of the crimes. So, if she was accused, and not convicted, it sounds like you told the truth. Guess what? Truth is the ultimate defense to a defamation claim.
More good news: Even if you told your husband that she was convicted, and she was only accused, you would be able to invoke the "substantial truth doctrine." If the words you uttered had no different effect on the listener than the full truth, then you win.
Oh, more good news -- she's going to need to show damages. How much damage did it cause? A married guy who is screwing her might not like her anymore? Yeah, good luck with that in front of a judge or jury.
Finally, the best news -- if she's dumb enough to sue you, you can file an anti-SLAPP motion (Cal Code Civ. Proc 425.16). That will most likely mean that she has to pay your defense costs.
You're in good shape. But, it wouldn't hurt to get a letter to her outlining this so that you never have to deal with the lawsuit in the first place.
I am not your lawyer. This is not legal advice. If you were my client, you would know it.
It is very difficult to successfully sue someone for disclosing a matter of public record. Our adult criminal court system is open for all the world to see. Criminal charges are not "private." The fact that she was never convicted does not give the woman standing to sue if your statement was true to what really happened (ie, merely saying that she was charged with crimes).
Thus, disclosing the fact that someone was charged with a crime is not slander -so long as the statement you made about the charges was accurate. She can technically sue, but the judge is supposed to dismiss this type of case.
My advice is directed at California cases since that is where I am licensed.
In reading over the responses and comments to the responses to your post, I suspect that you are more confused than ever given the range of "advice" offered.
Here are some thoughts and a suggestion:
First, yes she can sue; the reality is that anyone can sue for almost anything. The question is whether she can win.
Next, you did "publish" the allegations to your husband, and that can in theory trigger liability. But if she did sue you, you have a broad range of defenses, including privilege (communication to your husband about matters affecting the two of you); truth; and that the information you communicated was non-defamatory (saying that someone was accused of a crime is not necessarilly the same as alleging that she is a criminal).
My advice: spend an hours worth of time in a consultation with an attorney who can review the emails and offer you guidance. The cost of that hour may pay for itself by providing you peace of mind.
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