I'm confused. You use the term "spouse," but I think you're talking about your "ex," right?The you say she's already receiving money that is more than half your pension. How many pensions do you have?
I think you have one pension, you receive the monthly pension payments, and then you hav eto write checks to her for maintenance and child support, right?
Assuming those assumptions are correct, then what is happening is that the maintenance and child support payments are to be made to divide (for lack of a better term) the monthly cash flow between you two. The QUIDRO, on the other hand, is there to divide the asset, itself, as part of the property division. So, we're dividing property, and also cash flow.
What you post in your question sounds a little out of bounds, to me; but, without more, I can't really tell you anything more. Why nt post some more info to better explain the circumstances?
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You cannot be forced but if your ex is entitled to a portion of your pension, there will be ways to circumvent the QILDRO. Is your ex getting a portion of a pension different pension than the one subject to the QILDRO? Have your attorney review your figures to make sure you are not overpaying.
The answer is maybe. If you entered into a marital settlement agreement that divided your pension, then you agreed to sign a consent form. Now the court can order you to do so. The answer is less clear if the division of the retirement plan comes about as a result of a trial, I think the answer would technically be no, but there may be theories advanced that would result in an equivalent effect.
As for the child support and maintenance, these are different issues from the division of the pension as property. If you are currently receiving the pension, though, the portion being paid to your spouse from the QILDRO should not be included in your income for child support or spousal support.