She has been a big part in pushing my ex husband into court, making everything 50/50 so that he and I do not have to cross paths, promoting 'paralell parenting'. He has her going to appointments, parents' conferences when he is not present. I'm completely uncomfortable with attenting these with her, as I don't see her as the equivalent of the father.
You can ask your husband to honor your views on this, but you have no legal rights to compel him to do so. He is part of a "household" and it is normal and reasonable in a 2-adult household to allocate between the responsible adults the necessary matters such as doctor appointments, school conferences, chauffeuring kids around, etc. Particularly if he is employed, he is entitled to manage his schedule and time in the best way he can and reliance on his wife (not a girlfriend) is reasonable conduct on his part. You have no veto powers in his decisions as to how to best meet his responsibilities and commitments.
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