Can a mother have her 5 year old daughter sleep in the bed with her and her boyfriend?

Asked over 1 year ago - Boston, MA

i have my daughter Thursday - Saturday. her mother has her the other days. she has no room and now not even a bed, her mother has her sleeping in the bed with her and her boyfriend. is there anything i can do? i filed for visitation and wonder if i should seek custody. is this neglect?

Attorney answers (6)

  1. Michael L Rich

    Contributor Level 17

    5

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You already have parenting time with your daughter. Why would you file for visitation?

    If the mother's lack of room for your daughter is new you can file for a modification of the custody or visitation arrangements.

    Though DCF and some judges have a bias against parents co sleeping, if the boyfriend is fully clothed and no sexual activity occurs while your daughter is in bed with them, it is probably it not neglect.

    if you have a significant reasons to be concerned about the tailor your daughter is getting at her mother's house, you may want to consult with a family law attorney to discuss your options.

    NOTE: This answer is made available by the lawyer for educational purposes only. By using or participating in this... more
  2. Julie Court Molloy

    Contributor Level 15

    3

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . If it were only the child sleeping with her mother, it would not be problematic, but the child should not be sleeping in the same bed with mother and mother's boyfriend.

    Report it to DCF, and consider hiring an attorney.

    Bets wishes.

    No attorney-client relatonship is created in responding to this question, and advice provided is based solely on... more
  3. Robert Winford Carpenter

    Contributor Level 13

    3

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . I would file for an emergency motion at Probate Court, and seek custody if that is what you wish, at a minimum to order the behavior to cease. Personaly I think this is harmful whereas others might not. Mother obviously has some other issues going on as well that should be investigated. A DCF investigation will take months and probably nothing will happen, in my opinion.

    This is not legal advice until I am retained and have reviewed all facts about your situation.
  4. Joshua N Robbins

    Pro

    Contributor Level 16

    2

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . Echoing the spirit of my brothers and sisters. Contact DCF and file a complaint for modification coupled with a motion for temporary orders.

    I wish you all the best.

    LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I am licensed to practice law in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and have an office in Waltham.... more
  5. Erik Hammarlund

    Contributor Level 18

    2

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You probably know in your gut if it's neglect or not. Families co-sleep all over the world; they have done so since the dawn of humanity. Even those who don't usually sleep in the same bed are happy to share a space when they camp or travel and so on.

    Some co-sleeping is OK; some co-sleeping is not. Certainly this might be inappropriate and creepy. Or it may just be that her mom loves her and wants to see her, but can't afford another bed right now so she's sticking her on the edge to sleep.

    If you think that they're good people who are doing their best with no money, then you can always buy an inflatable Aerobed and a sleeping bag, which your daughter could use. If you don't want to do that, you'll have to go to court.

    Do you want accurate, personalized, legal advice that you can rely on? You will have to hire an attorney, not ask... more
  6. Henry Lebensbaum

    Contributor Level 20

    Answered . HOW OFTEN AND WHY?

    Criminal Law (all misdemeanor & felonies in District and Superior Courts), Drunk Driving and Drug arrests, Sex... more

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