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Boyfriend(now ex) recorded us having sex without my permission. What can I do besides costly and lengthy litigation?

Lake Zurich, IL |

Found videos of myself and (now ex) boyfriend having sex, we were living together at the time,videos were recorded without my consent. I also found videos of him and his exgirlfriends engaging in sexual acts, not sure if these were consentual when being taped.

He threatened me by text messages to use the videos against me, stating things like he will get mean when provoked, things could get worse for me, & he will show everyone everything.

I didn't go to the cops, however he called the police and told them I would be making false accusations about him regarding some videos. (He has police friends)

I got scared & filed an emergency order of protection,it was denied. Judge gave me a plenary hearing and summoned him to hear both sides of the story. I'm overwhelmed and dont know what to

Attorney Answers 3


  1. Illinois Criminal Code of 1961 relating to unauthorized videotaping - Provides that it is unlawful for any person to knowingly videotape, photograph, or film another person or observe any videotape, photography, recording, or film of another person, without that person's consent if the videotaping, recording, or filming takes place in a dormitory room or suite or other private place, in addition to those currently listed, which include a restroom, tanning bed, tanning salon, locker room, changing room, or hotel bedroom. Public Act . . . . . . . . . 93-0851

    As you have video of other ex-girlfriends in the same - you should make an appointment with the State Attorney in your county. This will not cost you anything except time and patience and the willingness to prosecute your ex-boyfriend - as it is a crime.

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  2. First things first... do not be afraid of his threats. That may seem easier said then done but living in fear is no way to live. You do have options.

    File a police report as soon as possible. I frequently hear stories from clients about fear of going to the police due to perceived "police relationships". Most of the time the person bragging about all of his "police friends" is just blowing smoke. In your case, his text messages are essential evidence so make sure that you are keeping them safe.

    The most important thing to consider at this point is your age. If you were under the age of 18 there may be some child pornography issues to consider here. Additionally, if your ex boyfriend has other videos, do those videos depict minors?

    If your ex boyfriend were to publish the videos anywhere, there are numerous civil claims that you could make against him, especially given the fact that he is using the tapes as a tool to intentionally create emotional distress and either blackmail or extort you (I am making a few assumptions here based on the limited facts you presented).

    I highly recommend that you file a police report and locate an attorney in your area to assist you right away.


  3. I endorse the answer regarding criminal prosecution. You also have a right to injunctive relief. This would be a civil action that would either require him to give you, destroy, or never distribute or publish the video. You would need to pay for this type of action through a private attorney.