i broke a laptop cut a cord to a lap broke 5 cs an wrote on a mirror in the bathroom . . . i didn't not put my hands on her period
Destruction of property can be charged as a Class 1 Misdemeanor if the value of the allegedly-damaged property is less than $1,000, or it can be charged as a Class 6 felony if the value is $1,000 or more.
Domestic assault & battery is a Class 1 Misdemeanor that can also result in a loss of your right to possess firearms. Some acts of "domestic violence," as you say, can be charged as felonies, for example strangulation or malicious wounding.
All of these charges I am describing carry the very real potential for jail time and other consequences if you are convicted. You should consult in private with several defense attorneys in your area and hire the best one you can afford.
Divorce / Separation Lawyer
Given the nature of your charges, I strongly suggest that you speak with a local defense attorney to discuss the specifics of your case. As the other attorney noted, the potential consequences related to the destruction of property depend upon the underlying value of the property. The Virginia Code section related to the destruction of property is here: http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-137.
A local attorney would be able to meet with you to review your charging documents and request discovery specific to your case that would allow him or her to better answer your questions. Best of luck.