Was married in Iowa, are residents of Ohio, both parties want to end marriage either by annulment or divorce. Ohio does not recognize same sex marriage so would the disillusion of the marriage need to be done in Iowa or can it be done in any state that recognizes same sex marriage? Do both parties have to go to the said state? Can an attorney in Ohio prepare the annulment or divorce papers here and mail them to Iowa? Abusive relationship need to get out as quickly and cheaply as possible!!
This is real complications of marriage in those states with marriage equality. You will need to bring the annulment or divorce in a state that recognizes same sex marriage and has provisions for divorce. That will also require you to comply with that state's residency and procedural requirements for such an action. Generally at least one party has to go to the state where the divorce will be obtained and the other party will have to consent to the jurisdiction. Please consult a domestic relations attorney in a marriage equality state. Good luck.