Alimony and other advice needed

Asked almost 6 years ago - Denver, CO

I currently live in PA; my husband in NY. He was in the military for 16 yrs until he was kicked out. He now is employed by the VA. I have been diagnosed with Crohns and was told with my other health issues I may have only a few years to live. He has not been supportive whatsoever and currently he even has a girlfriend( his boss) that hes not been too secretive about. We have 2 kids one is 19( the other 21) and wanting to start it possible to get him help to help pay for that?
I'm also needing to get an idea about what alimony might be granted ? I have filed for SS since I am unable to work with this disease. I have had to hire a lawyer to fight for the SS. Am I entitled to his? What about his benefits? I basically just want good advice on what I should go after to be able to live normally.
Currently due to my health being so poor, I am living with my mother and she is financially supporting me, due to the fact he feels he doesnt have to pay me anything ever.....He also is the one that pays for my health insurance and says thats all he has to do legally. Im too sick to fight over everything and the stress just aggrivates my system. I have been hospitalized twice in the last year and he didnt even care to see or check on me in July. Another kicker, while I was in the hospital cancelled my car insurance and didnt even tell me for 3 weeks, which led to a whole series of problems when I tried to get new...oy vey.
We have been married for 22 years today but have lived seperatly for about 2 due to him being kicked out of the military and getting a job elsewhere to "support his family". But once I was diagnosed he didnt want to be involved anymore. He has not contributed a dime since May when we sold out house. He also did the taxes and had it all wired to his account (the stimulus check also) and didn't split it. I never signed the forms or have seen them.
In what state would this be filed? He's been abusive, hes an alcoholic, cheater,etc and I have documentation on all of this would it be needed? I could go on and on but I have tried to summarize to give facts so that I can get clear answers.
Any advice and help would be appreciated.

Additional information

I appreciate that answer, but I am also hoping for more details as to a ball park amount and also if I should bother asking for 50 % of his benefits, retirement ?

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