I agree with counsel. One thing you should definitely do first is check with the Delaware court system to see if the case is still open (I doubt that it is.) If not, you can file in New York if you meet the residency requirements. Be it that you have been separated for over 8 years, you can request a divorce in the state under grounds of irreconcilable differences.
You are most likely not in foreclosure if this is all you received. A foreclosure summons and complaint are generally large packets of paper that are served to your house.
Failure to pay taxes will certainly result in a foreclosure sale sooner.
The very fact that a Pit Maneuver was mentioned suggest a serious chase.
You just acknowledged the chase yourself.
My colleague above is right, don't do or say anything else outside of seeking representation.
You cannot. All parties are entitled to full transcripts of depositions in their action as well. The only time you would be able to prevent the attendance is if one witness is actively disrupting the deposition of the other.
Here is the text of the Automatic Orders in place for a divorce proceeding in NY.
In short, unless you have confirmation that the action was disposed of by the court, it is not worth the risk of terminating her coverage.
(1) Neither party shall sell, transfer, encumber, conceal, assign, remove or in any way dispose of, without the consent of the other party in writing, or by order of the court, any property (including, but not limited to, real estate, personal property,...
I recommend calling your local court building and seeing if they have a law library. There are sometimes staff that can assist you if you represent yourself. This is a good place to start.
Otherwise, speak with an attorney.