A: Gretchen’s answer: You don't automatically get anything to prove that you're finished with the payments. However, you can ask the party receiving payments to sign a form called a "satisfaction of judgment", which is not so typical in family cases but used frequently in civil cases, to prove that you've paid what a court ordered you to pay. If the party receiving payments refuses to sign, you can go to court in a post decree request for the court to order that the judgment has been satisfied. This is not standard, and is not free.

Most people simply keep records of all payments made. Do not destroy these records until you have your decree and all other court orders reviewed by a local lawyer who could tell you whether there is still any danger of the ex spouse being permitted to seek enforcement of the judgment. In other words, there are time limitations on enforcement of judgments, and you want to keep your paperwork proving that you have paid, until after this time limit is clearly passed.

If the payments were accomplished via garnishment, it's a little easier to get proof of payment. If your alimony payment was combined with child support, it is also a litlte easier, particularly if you paid your support through a governmental family support collection organization, because they will have their own copy of the records of your payments for all payments made through them (and you will have to keep records of payments made if there were any made outside of the official channels).

In some states and jurisdictions, there are forms easily available for someone in your position to go in and terminate a judgment or a garnishment. This is most commonly done in child support cases rather than in alimony cases, because child support is changed more frequently than alimony is. Sometimes, the mechanisms used in proving the end of child support are adaptable for use in proving the end of alimony. However, Maryland does not have such an easily adaptable format for doing this, which is why I recommend simply getting your ex to sign a satisfaction of judgment. We all know that the receiving spouse is maybe not too happy about the end of payments, so one way to get a signature on a satisfaction of judgment is to say, "I'm about to make the last alimony payment. I would like your signature on a form to prove this. How about we meet so I can hand you the last payment in person and get your signature? We can meet at the bank where there will be a notary available". However, if they refuse to do it, you cannot coerce them to doing it. Your only real recourse is to go to court to get it done... which, like I said, is an extra expense.

Not everyone has such an amicable relationship with thier ex, and even when the relationship is amicable, the ex who is losing their alimony payments might not be so happy about it that they'd be eager to memorialize it with paperwork such as this, so in many instances, people choose, instead, so simply let the tiger sleep rather than poking it to ask for a signature.

Unfortunately, this means that most people end up at the end of alimony payments with nothing to show for it... nothing proving their triumph in finishing this obligation... no document to symbolize their financial freedom, such as when the mortgage payments are finished and you can have a "mortgage burning". It just isn't available, it's not done that way, in family cases. And since there is no easy way to get proof of final payment, to get a court to do it, you'd have to go through a hearing in court to make it happen. Every time there is a hearing, there is the opportunity to contest the hearing. And at the end of this obligation, you certainly do NOT want a whole new contested hearing to have to worry about.

So most people just let the tiger sleep... let them sleep through your "finally free" party.

And, by the way, congradulations!

A: Gretchen’s answer: Postponing the vacation might have been the best option here, because I am also concerned that you might come home to an empty house. Given that your wife is an attorney, I would not suggest that you try to do a do-it-yourself divorce on this one. The good news is that if she is trying to maintain some sense of dignity in her life, given her current decisions, she might be very willing to do the right thing by the divorc esettlement. On that issue, I would strike while the iron is hot, obtaining a lawyer who can contact her to ask what her intentions are regarding property settlement, custody, parenting time, ongoing support for yourself and the children, maintenance of the current household bills, and maintenance of your child who needs the ongoing therapeutic help. You can get a temporary agreement in place to at least maintain the current status of the family (other than that she will not be living under the same roof), until you can negotiate and finalize the various issues.

You will want to get as much information as possible about the family finances, especially all debts (such as credit cards, car loans, mortgages), assets (including retirement accounts, pensions and other employment benefits, the house, etc), income (hers and yours, from employment and any other sources) and whether or not these things were accumulated during the marriage, or before. With this information in your hands, your lawyer will be able to give you a more accurate picture of what a good settlement will look like for you.

You will want to review your own employment and income situation and determine whether you will be able to maintain your own lifestyle without her assistance, whether you will be able to focus full time on the children, and whether you will need her help to do so.

Finally, you will want to consider that the children need to be able to feel good about their relationships with both parents if possible, so finding a way to make sure you both have the opportunity to maintain an ongoing positive relationship is very important, and holding your breath until a parenting time agreement is in place is vital to your children's emotional health.

Depending upon your wife's situation, you may want to choose mediation as a way to resolve this as amicably as possible. Check with your lawyer for recommendations on hiring a mediator and help in getting your wife to agree to that option.

Good luck!

A: Gretchen’s answer: 1. You have the right to remain silent about the details of the crime. This is such an important right, as you do not want to blurt out the one piece of evidence that the prosecutor was not sure about after they looked at their paperwork. You do not want to admit committing the crime or even being at the scene of the crime, before you're ready to accept a plea deal. Therefore, exercise your right to remain silent until you and your attorney decide otherwise.
2. Make sure you're on time for the arraignment next week.
3. Plea not guilty.
4. Ask for a public defender. You may not be qualified, you might have to fill out a financial affidavit to see if they will appoint one, but if you get one, schedule a meeting with them. You'll know better, whether or not you like the public defender's advice, after you meet with them. Some of them are very good at what they do. Others are overworked. Make your decision after you see them and ALSO after you interview a few private attorneys to decide if you want to hire one of them.
5. At the hearing, ask the prosecutor for a plea offer. Do not discuss it, simply ask if they have one available.
6. At the hearing, ask when discovery will be available and ask how you go about getting a copy. "Discovery" includes the police report and any other evidence that the state may have against you.
7. At the hearing, ask for the time to consult with your lawyer, review the discovery and consider the offer before making a decision on whether to take the plea offer. Depending upon whether there is enough evidence against you (and do not assume they have enough until you have seen it for yourself), a settlement offer where you are allowed to go to pretrial diversion may be a very good offer, or it might not be necessary. Ask for the time to consider it after you know what you are facing. Given your situation, that it was a theft from an employer, you have to worry about whether or not you are employable after this is over. Ultimately, the problem about your employment may be much larger than the actual crime or punishment, itself, so you want to think through this before you make any final decisions on settlement of this case.

FINALLY, stay calm. Nerves, and wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, are what causes most people in your position to make mistakes, talk too much, take plea deals before thinking it through. To avoid this, get up early enough on the morning of the hearing to get to the courthouse, do not have any more caffiene than usual, (it goes without saying, I hope, that you should not take any other controlled substances to calm your nerves), and make sure you have plenty of time to get parked and get through any lines (full of a bazillion other people who are also getting arraigned on thier misdemeanor cases at the same time), and make sure you've made your way to the correct courtroom with plenty of time to take a deep breath before the judge arrives.

Good luck.