are you going to the hearing? Why do you think she will be awarded that? Prepare with detailed financials and make sure they are filed with the court with copies to Family Law. If you do not get the outcome you think is just you can move to revise the Commissioners ruling or have the same Commissioner Reconsider his or her ruling.
Are you it the process of a divorce? Is there a temporary parenting plan? If not that is what you need to establish. It is done by making a motion. If he has done that you need to prepare for your hearing, I would consult with a few attorneys and find one you like. If there is a hearing and you are not prepared ask for a continuance to get more time to work with an attorney,
That is going to be hard as she is the custodial parent and I assume has decision making authority when the children are in her care. I would document your concern in a written communication and then advise her you can only afford 75% of reasonable uninsured health care expenses and in network providers. If you push it and risk violating the final orders she can bring you to court and you would be heard then. And also risk losing. Or you can invoke your dispute resolution process.
She can take you to court but the question is would she win. An attorney
should review the language in the final order of child support. This state
wants parents to contribute to college if they can so hopefully your order
is very clear. Sara Tamblyn, www.tamblynlaw.com
You can make the argument that this is not an extra-curricular but what
falls under the expenses for child support or a treat from Mom. If the
order says you have to agree then you might be safe. It would be up to her
to spend the time/money to bring you to court for contempt knowing it would
Does you parenting plan have any language regarding treatment of the other party? You Ex is alienating you and impermissibly interfering with your parenting as well as engaging in hostile and conflict orientated behavior. The boyfriend is harassing you and can try to get a restraining order against him but to get your ex to stop behaving in ways contrary to the best interests of the child you would have to bring a motion to modify the parenting plan or for contempt for violating the parenting...
Relocations are tricky and I suggest you seeking an attorney consult. If you do not have a current parenting plan you will not be violating anything if you move but you risk him pulling you into court in WA as WA has jurisdiction over your child. To be safe you would want to petition the court to establish a parenting plan (is he on the birth certificate? is paternity an issue? That is a material issue as to what pleadings to file).
I advise my clients to save all issues that arise during the week to one long email per week instead of multiple short ones. Additionally pretend the other party is a someone you do business with, that will help you keep it very business like and polite. You do not have to respond to the other party immediately unless it is an emergency. It is extremely difficult to do this but really helps if you can.