Consult a personal injury attorney to evaluate your claim. Generally, an employer can be held liable for the negligent acts of his employee when the employee was in the course and scope of their employment.
Your insurance company should provide a defense. Cooperate with them. I don't see how an additional lawsuit against you or the circumstances could work to your favor. Your father may be liable under a 'negligent entrustment' theory. More likely than not this is what the other party will claim. best of luck.
Yes, depending on your coverage. Generally, you will have to pay any deductible, until your insurance can collect against the negligent driver. However, it is often much better to go through the negligent party's insurance. I would recommend consulting with a personal injury attorney to assist you with your claim.
I am not really sure what your question is. Generally an advanced directive (as you set forth above) is directions to a health care provider to allow someone else to make medical decisions for you when you are unable to do so. In this case, you would be incapacitated, and therefore would not be able to enforce anything. The surrogate decision maker could ask the court for an injunction; however, if the hospital has already acted, you would have to consider how the action would be undone......