If you don't trust the attorney you hired or if he isn't fully explaining things, it's time for a new lawyer.
Mr. Dane is correct. A lawyer can appear for you on a misdemeanor charge unless it is domestic violence or the judge orders you to be there.
Mr. Daymude's advice is also good. Even if you don't have to be there, it is always helpful -- especially if you don't trust your attorney!
First, the victim has no right to refuse to testify. The district attorney can issue him a subpoena. After that, if he refuses to testify, he'll be held in contempt of court.
Second, even if the victim doesn't testify, it may not have much of an effect on your case depending on the circumstances. It would likely make it harder for the DA to convict you. But, it likely will not lead to automatic dismissal of your case.
If you already have an attorney, you should discuss these issues...
I agree with Mr. Hollbrook. You have a right to the entire case file. A lawyer must also notify a client promptly about any settlement and cannot accept or reject it without the client's permission. Get the file and review it. If they refuse to give it to you or if it appears they did not live up to they fiduciary duty (duty of loyalty) to you, notify the state bar.
It's your husband who needs a lawyer, not you. If he already has one, you should speak to him. If not, get him one ASAP.
Not all convictions are eligible for half time. It depends on what the underlying charge was. Some charges require a minimum of 80-85%. It may be that a mistake was made when he was sentenced. Your husband needs an attorney ASAP to resolve this issue.
In general, conviction of an infraction as opposed to a misdemeanor is preferable from a defense perspective . Having a misdemeanor conviction on your record will impact you far more than having an infraction conviction. However, there could be other considerations depending on the facts specific to your case. You should discuss this with your attorney in a confidential setting before making a decision.
You must be off probation to petition for expungement. If not, you must first petition for early termination of probation. You must have a good reason to get early termination. "I don't want potential employers to know I was convicted of DUI" is not likely to be a sufficient reason. However, if you can show other changed circumstances, you may be able to prevail. Consult an attorney