Any representation agreement for over $1,000.00 needs to be in writing. If the additional 2 hours was $1,000.00, then one can presume the initial 10 hours was for more and therefore, this attorney has violated state bar rules and should consider him/her self lucky for getting the initial fee without a hassle.
Maybe. If you personally did what they are accusing you of doing, then you are a proper defendant OR if they allege this, you are a proper defendant. If you had nothing to do with what is being alleged, you are not a proper defendant. Either way, you are going to have to defend yourself OR you will lose the case. It's probably best to have a sit down in person with an attorney.
Not a legal answer but, please please please get this lady some help. This is highly anti-social behavior and endangered the children's well being and if they are raised by someone who acts like this, they may well have very difficult lives. I am worried for her mental health and that of the children.