I practice in Modesto. If you want to move the children from Modesto over the father's objection it will require hiring an attorney and paying for a move away evaluation. This will be a very costly process and most likeky you'll need a stronger set of facts and reasons to succeed. Call me at 1-888- ITSOVER to discuss
An actuarial firm
usually charges upward of $450 and attorneys upward of $750 for a 401K. However, you may need attorney help to complete joinder requirements and to file a motion if the other party refuses to sign off on the QDRO
The court has continuing jurisdiction to modify orders regarding custody and support regardless of default. With regard to property issues the setting aside of default will depend on the timing of the request and reasons given. Courts prefer to decide issues based on merits rather than on procedural grounds.
You should ask for both but you may wish to remain Domestic Partners if the are health insurance and other employment or retirement benefits available to you. It may also affect your options in filing your CA tax returns.