the loan is in both of our names... can he demand that loan is refinanced in my name?
This is an extremely complicated question and there are no clear answers. It will depend on the evaluation of the entire financial picture for the family, including the ability to pay the obligation. Also, much would depend upon the judge's attitude as it would be a matter of judicial discretion if you were to go to court. You should talk to a family law attorney about your options.
In order to obtain more information about the divorce process and your divorce options, you should consider attending a Divorce Options workshop, if one is available in your community. If you are in Fresno, it is given on the second Saturday of each month at the Ramada Inn from 9 am to 1 pm. The cost is only $45. For more information about the Divorce Options program, go to divorcefresno.com or cpcal.com.