There are ways of settling your issues, especially since you are receiving public assistance (welfare).
The Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) has a program to negotiate the amounts that are owed. I suggest contacting your County agency (The LA DCSS) and asking about the program. The statements you get from the DCSS should have their contact information, or an email address you can send your request to.
If the Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) is involved you may have an issue.
The DCSS won't allow the compromise on the arrears, there's specific language you would have to use. Also, if ANY of the arrears are owed to the County/State you and the CP won't be able to negotiate that amount away at all. Technically, you and the CP could agree to compromise anything that she (and not the County/State) is owed, but that's not going to get through the DCSS, who would have to sign-off on...
You need to contact the Department of Child Support Services for your County (San Bernardino) to find out what they are collecting.
It would appear that if your child was adopted thru foster care" then you are not paying current child support. However, if you owed child support at any time, and then your child got state aid (like being in the foster care system) then the DCSS can pursue collecting all that is past due.
On the other hand, if they are collecting from your unemployment they...
The right to your medical retirement depends on how the payment is structured.
If it's for your own future medical and pain/suffering then no, you can argue she doesn't get a share of that.
If it's for lost wages then she could make a claim for no more than one-half of the retirement as a property right. If there is an annuity of monthly payment then she can seek to have the monthly amount part of your spousal support calculation. In some cases she could "double dip" by having a share of...
The issue of your ability to get "palimony" depends upon whether your boyfriend promised to support you, said you did not need to get a job since he would take care of you.
Unfortunately most of the time it's not specifically said that he will support you, he just pays the bills you both build up.
You should consider consulting with an attorney who also does civil, as well as family, law, since the claim for palimony is heard in the civil courts (and not family courts).
Unfortunately the State of California does not allow a parent's rights to be terminated until and unless there's someone willing to step-up to those rights.
However, the good news is that when you are married you can do a "step-parent adoption" that will terminate the biological father's rights (assuming abandonment by 1. not seeing the child and 2. not paying to support the child). If the biological father agrees to the adoption the process can be that much quicker.
From your question it appears that you don't have a physical custody schedule established.
Legal custody is the right to make decisions regarding a child, not to have them with you, so you want to get those rights established.
Since you were not married to the father, you'll have to start an action to establish parentage and custody/visitation rights.
I suggest you search AVVO for a family law attorney to help you, or contact the Orange County Bar Association Lawyer Referral Service to find...
Any time you are requesting orders from the court you must file the following Family Law (FL series) forms.
FL-300: Order to Show Cause
FL-305: Temporary Orders
There are other forms that specify what specific orders you are requesting in the FL-340s, such as specific rights to custody and visitation.
Your local court may have additinal forms that you would need to file as well, such as the form letting the clerk know you gave proper notice to your ex.
I suggest you...
Since you're the other custodial parent you must petition the court to maintain custody of your child until the other parent is released from the hospital, and then is able to care for the child upon release. The process for seeking these temporary orders is called an "ex parte application" and the practice is somewhat different county-to-county.
You would be responsible for making sure that the child continues enrollment and participation at school and other activities that they had...
The court rules here in Orange County may be a little different than those where you are, but generally you should go directly to the courtroom and file it there, make sure your ex gets a copy ASAP.
It will actually be up to your ex whether or not the court should consider anything in the Amended Responsive Declaration. She may ask that it be "stricken" or that the matter be continued so she has time to address whatever new information you have in your amendment.