If the amount of the cancelled debt plus all other debt exceeded the fair market value of her assets at the time of the cancellation, she should file a tax return and include IRS Form 982 and check Box 1.b. The cancelled debt is not taxable to the extent she was insolvent.
All good advice by the others; but to answer your question ... No, you do not have to wait for your settlement to file BK. In fact, if you are going to file, it might be better to file BEFORE your settlement since it is more easily exempted before it becomes money in the bank.
If you file your BK within 90 days of when they took the money, that payment (and anything else you paid them in that 90 days) constitutes a "preference" payment. Your BK Trustee would have the right to retrieve that preference in order to redistribute it to all your creditors; but there's a good chance that he won't bother and abandon it. At that point, you (or, preferably, your attorney) can pursue what the trustee abandoned. Based on our experience, the money is generally returned without...
$75,000 is the CA homestead exemption ($100,000 if there are family members living with you).
What will happen depends on how much additional equity you have. If it's substantial, your case should not have been filed as a Ch7 and you should probably convert to Ch13 if you want to keep the home. If not substantial, the Trustee may just abandon it or possibly work out a deal with you to buy out your equity.
First, it's not the court that will ask for bank statements ... it's the Trustee assigned to your case. And in your Central District, Trustees are not in the habit of asking for bank statements unless they need them to verify other information. As for your bank statements, you cannot be expected to provide that which does not exist.
It would be better to file your BK before you are married because If you're married, her income must be included in the analysis of whether you qualify for Ch7 or what your Ch13 payment will be;
Your BK should not affect her credit even after you are married (assuming you have no joint debt).
She does not have to disclose her debts in your BK ... only YOUR debts need be disclosed in YOUR BK.
The property of the debtor (with rare exceptions) becomes property of the estate upon filing the BK and reverts to the debtor when properly exempted and/or when abandoned (rejected) by the Trustee. At that point the debtor is free to "reaffirm/assume" the lease (assuming the lender agrees); but that does not mean the leased property belongs to the debtor ... only that the debtor's interest in the property is as it was before (probably more of a liability than an asset).