Since you have so many pressing issues you should retain a new family law attorney as soon as possible and get things moving again. The court system is really slow so if you continue to delay retaining new counsel you may get further in the hole.
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You can divorce him in CA. When you file for divorce you usually get temporary spousal support orders (if he can afford it) until alimony is determined.
True. It is required to complete the divorce proceedings...one more hoop to jump through.
If you are not yet a registered domestic partnership you can change your last name on the registration form. Or you need to go through the court process.