My Father's Day column in the SANTA MONICA DAILY PRESS, it explains a lot of who I am.
ON FATHERHOOD AND RAISING MEN
I never really knew my father. Well, let me be clearer. I know who he
was, he lived with me until I was 12, and then I lived with him on
summer vacations and such. I have memories of going fishing once or
twice with him. I recall fighting with him as a teenager, and the
weekend before he died we had a great conversation, but I was 19 and in
Boston for the summer.
My father was a World War 2 vet, but the way he told it, he was on an
island in the pacific resupplying ships and it was a blast. He went to
college on the GI bill and was salesman. He sold printing presses, then
life insurance, and then funeral plans.
He was the 13th child born and the 11th child to live in his family.
He was the baby who was raised by his sisters. Which partly explains his
life skills, or lack thereof. Alcoholism took a hold of him fiercely,
and it effected my family dramatically.
I am the baby in my family. I was the third son born, my parents were
in their mid 40’s and by the time I came along, alcoholism was in full
bloom and its effects were being felt throughout the family. My parents
fought bitterly and viciously. My brothers, who were 16 and 14 years
older than me, had more fully seen the terrors that I felt the
repercussions of as a child.
So when my parents finally divorced, it brought peace to the
household, but there was a cost. My father became sober soon afterwards,
but I was a pre-teen, and parenting a pre-teen from afar is nigh on
impossible. The job fell to my older brother Chris.
He was an island of calm, mostly, in a household of alcoholism and
anxiety. For even though my parents had divorced, the long term negative
effects of their marriage remained. My mother was struggling to make it
financially, and battling with the bottle herself. My brother Chris
took up the responsibility for being a father figure in my life and
though he did a great job, and I love and respect him for it, he was
only 28, and he had my father as his father. He was denied a good father
just as much as I was, probably more.
When I look at my father’s life, I see the pattern of my life. I see
how he was raised by his siblings, I see the lack of strong male figures
to teach the hard lessons in life.
It is perhaps one of the reasons why I am attracted to the work I do.
As much as a mother can nurture a child, she cannot teach a boy how
to be a man. Young boys need their mothers, but the more I think about
it, and the more I learn about the way men develop, I believe it is the
men who teach boys how to be men.
In the ancient Grecian state of Sparta, boys were raised by their
mothers until they were 7 when there were sent to be raised by men. The
understanding of boys and men, the ways in which we think and act,
versus the manner in which we should act, these are lessons that need to
be taught by men because we speak a common language.
Only another man intuitively understands my impulses towards anger,
aggression, and sex. Only older, wiser men have been able to show me a
better way of dealing with those topics.
Fathers, and father figures, are vitally important to the upbringing
of boys. It is a crime in our country that so many men are sidelined by
the courts, and their exs, when it comes to the raising of the children.
It is the future men who are being denied vital life lessons, and it
is our society that will pay the price.
The conventional wisdom that the mother is the better parent in all
things is as absurd as hiring a plumber to fix a soufflé. Mothers are
vitally important at certain times, just as fathers are vitally
important at others, to idolize one, and ignore the other is
philosophically imbalanced and illogical.
This Father’s Day I’d like to see an awareness of the important role
that men play in raising boys, who in turn become fathers. Father's Day
is a day honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds,
and the influence of fathers in society, but to do that, we first have
to really understand what they do. It’s about more than just paying
child support and every other weekend.
At least, it should be.
Licensed since 1998
Hourly ($250-450/hour), Fixed (Sometimes), Retainer (Always)
Cash, Check, Credit Card
I have had the good fortune of working with David on multiple projects and am continuously impressed by his intellectual agility and ability to interact with clients and attorneys alike. David provides excellent representation to each and every client and I would not hesitate to recommend him to anyone seeking an attorney for their family law matters.
Rose Kesten Family Attorney
I have had the pleasure of consulting with David Pisarra on several family law matters, and have referred him a number of cases. I am a litigator and not a family law specialist, but when issues overlap David is my go-to guy for reliable information and good counsel. On those occasions I have referred clients to David, the feedback has been uniformly positive. Finding someone who takes a special interest in father's rights is an added bonus, but I would not hesitate to recommend David to anyone in need of assistance on Family Law related issues.
Robert Moest Litigation Attorney
Relationship: Worked together on matter
|Award Name||Grantor||Date Granted|
|PRESIDENT'S AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE||HERBALIFE||1994|
|Cosmetic Product Licensing Manager||Herbalife International||1995 - 1997|
|Association Name||Position Name||Duration|
|San Fernando Valley Bar Association||Member||2010 - Present|
|Los Angeles County Bar Association||Regional Standing Committee||2010 - Present|
|Beverly Hills Bar Association, Family Law Section||Member||2004 - Present|
|Los Angeles County Bar Association, Family Law Section||Officer||1999 - Present|
|Santa Monica Bar Association, Family Law Section||Volunteer Panel Arbitration||1999 - Present|
|California Men's Gathering||Planning Committee Member||1999 - Present|
|Beverly Hills Bar Association, Family Law Section||Member||1998 - Present|
|State Bar of California, Family Law Section||Member||1998 - Present|
|Lying ex-wife loses her Alimony||Win- Saved my client $140,000 in Alimony|
|Dad won Custody of his daughters||Win for Father's Rights|
|Big Daddy wins in court over Psycho Mama||Father Wins!|
|Valley Lawyer magazine (SFVBA)||Domestic Violence Allegations - Protecting Your Clients Rights||2013|
|Family Lawyer Magazine||Feathers and Fur can grow your practice||2012|
|GoodMenProject||A Guy's Divorce Survival Guide||2011|
|SuddenBachelor.com||Guest Post: GUILTY BY REASON OF ANATOMY: The Negligent Parent Myth||2011|
|EzineArticles.com||How NOT to pay child support||2011|
|EzineArticles||What is the International Parental Kidnapping Act?||2011|
|InternationalChildCustody.com||Child Abductions and Wrongful Withholding||2011|
|InternationalChildCustody.com||U.S. LAW – CRIMINAL PENALTIES FOR WRONGFUL WITHHOLDING UNDER IPKA||2011|
|InternationalChildCustody.com||What is Home State Jurisdiction?||2011|
|InternationalChildCustody.com||PARENTAL KIDNAPPING – WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT||2011|
|MensFamilyLaw.com||CHILD CUSTODY – THE BIG LIE WOMEN TELL||2011|
|MensFamilyLaw.com||THREE THINGS MEN SHOULD DO IN A DIVORCE||2011|
|HuffingtonPost.com||THE BIGGEST MISTAKE MEN MAKE||2011|
|Libero Media||A Man's Guide To Divorce Strategy||2010|
|Libero Media||A Man's Guide To Child Custody||2010|
|Libero Media||A Man's Guide To Domestic Violence||2010|
|Human Resource Executives Online||Fathers in the Workplace||2010|
|SingleDad.com||The Easy Retirement Plan - One Decade Can Equal a Lifetime of Alimony||2010|
|SingleDad.com||Overhaul of Child Support Needed for Low-Income Fathers||2010|
|Ezinearticles.com||What kind of Lawyer Do You Need?||2010|
|EzineArticles.com||Parental Alienation Memoir Review||2010|
|EzineArticles.com||Help for Fathers Fighting Parental Alienation||2010|
|SingleDad.com||Parenting Plans - The Roadmap to Dealing with Your Ex||2009|
|SingleDad.com||The Three Ps of Child Custodhy||2009|
|Divorce360.com||The Men's Rooom - Pay It Again Sam||2009|
|Santa Monica Daily Press||What's The Point?||2008|
|Divorce360.com||The Biggest Mistake Men Make||2008|
|Divorce360.com||The Men's Room - The Career Trap and Divorce||2008|
|Divorce360.com||The Men's Room - The Abuse Charge||2008|
|Divorce360.com||The Men's Room - Not Letting You See The Kids||2008|
|Divorce360.com||Does Dead Broke = Deadbeat?||2008|
|Divorce360.com||Courts Don't Really Care How Ex-Spouses Spend Child Support||2008|
|Divorce360.com||The Men's Room - Fake Restraining Orders||2007|
|National Institute For Trial Advocacy||N/A||Family Law Trial Advocacy||2011|
|University of West Los Angeles School of Law - West Los Angeles||Law||JD - Juris Doctor||1998|
|St. John's College||N/A||BA - Bachelor of Arts||1995|
|Webinar - A Man's Guide To Child Custody||Child Custody||2014|
|Webinar - What is International Child Custody - A Patchwork of Laws||International Child Custody||2013|
|Webinar - A Man's Guide To Family Law||Men's Family law||2013|
|Webinar - A Man's Guide to Domestic Violence||Domestic Violence||2013|
|LACBA - MINOR'S COUNSEL TRAINING||Diversity in Family Law||2012|
|City of Santa Monica||The High Costs of Child Support||2010|