You should hire a criminal defense attorney and also consult with an immigration attorney in your area. If your son ends up pleading to any type of criminal charge it could end up affecting his immigration status very negatively. Thus, hopefully a criminal attorney can completely get rid of the matter. If not, then you need an immigration attorney to advise you on what type of plea he can accept without having a negative impact on his immigration status.
If you visit the US Embassy website for the specific location you are interested in you can usually find out who is eligible to go through consular processing at that location and what visas will be handled. Policies can vary from consulate to consulate.
It will not be possible for you to adjust status from within the US given the facts of your situation. The only person you can marry and adjust through on a K-1 is the person who petitioned you. You will need to return to your home country before your current visa expires. Be careful not to stay here illegally and start accruing unlawful presence or you could be barred from the US.
You can be deported as long as you are illegally present in the US. However, based on the facts you have provided you were not be a high priority for ICE so you will likely be ok until you are able to finalize your adjustment of status through marriage.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your wife and your bad experiences in the past with attorneys. Your wife's situation is one that is very complex and no one on Avvo will be able to give you an easy solution for it.
It sounds like you now have a better attorney than you had before. My recommendation would be to work closely with them to see what can be done on your wife's behalf. You've taken the first step by getting a stay of removal and reopening the case. However, it is...