If the order isn't specific in that regard then she doesn't have to tell you unless she is leaving the county. As long as the child is monitored (you have a right t o know and agree to the monitor). You could try requesting orders from the court to try getting the location from the mother if you think she is on drugs again.
At anytime the father can just take your 14 yr old back in his care. If the police are called they will most definitely place her back with the father and there isn't much you can do about it. I would file a stipulation and order immediately to protect yourself. If the father is worried about child support you can stipulate to it being zero in that order as well. Give me a call and I can help you if you need it.
In order to divorce you he needs to notice you of the proceeding. It seems that if he did actually divorce you there was some foul play since you did not know if it. You can look up the divorce if it took place via case name at:
I agree with Tobie. It all depends on the best interests of the child but you also must show a change of circumstances if there is an order currently. It would appear to me that due to the eviction there is a change of circumstances and the best interests of the child is served being with you until the Father gets his feet back on the ground.
Unfortunately without a court order you can't go back and get retroactive amounts. If the father was to agree and then sign some sort of stipulation with respect to back child support then it could be enforceable. Its not likely anyone would do that.
You have to follow the court's orders. That means that you cant stop him from seeing the kids. But since it is monitored visits only you can stop him from seeing them if it isn't an approved monitor. If you approve of the monitor you have to let him see them.