What's the point of the story about the friend and getting caught at the border, and the "scratched out" passport? Are you trying to say that your undocumented alien husband left the U.S. and then was prevented from returning? If that is the question, then the answer is maybe. It would depend on whether or not he had any other grounds to prevent him from returning to the U.S. I would assume that he had lived in the U.S. for more than a year he would be subject to a ten year bar that could...
It sounds to me like your father was removed for committing an aggravated felony (trafficking). After 1997, when you are deported for an agfel you are permanently inadmissible. However, it would be worth the price of a consultation with a specialist to have a thorough review of your dads case. I'm sorry!
You do not need to pay the $1000 (for a bunch of reasons we don't need to get into here). He does not have to leave and yes, you can file the I-130 and the I-485 concurrently. As for whether or not you need a lawyer, as a lawyer I would say enthusiastically "absolutely".
An I-601 is the form for the waiver(s). I'm not sure why your lawyers would tell you that you didn't need an I-601, but you do need two waivers. I think this is an attorney/client communication snafu. Go back to your lawyer and try to get them to explain better.
Drive safely and ALWAYS obey the law. But if you get caught driving without a license it will not impact your naturalization case. However, you should take your ticket in to an attorney experienced in traffic violations, Craig Kinney, for example, and have him take care of the ticket, usually if you can get the lawyer to buy you enough time to be able to produce a valid license, the courts in Nevada will just dismiss the ticket.
If no immigration papers were filed then USCIS would be hard pressed to make any finding of fraud in a subsequent immigration filing. The standard for a fraud finding is that the alien got married for the sole purpose of gaining an immigration benefit. Now (and this is important) just because USCIS would be legally wrong to say this later, it doesn't mean they won't, and your son may find himself in a fight. It would be a fight with amateurs, and one that he would eventually win, but a fight...
Sounds like it. As the other attorneys have mentioned, your daughter must be over 21, and she would need to have the financial resources to be able to file an affidavit of support. Other inadmissibility issues like any prior criminal convictions or immigration violations should be explored with counsel. But congratulations It looks promising.