The I-601a waiver is only for foreign nationals inside the United States. Since you reside outside the US you will have to file the waiver at the US consulate. It is best to have an attorney assist with the waiver.
Yes filing for a green card for your new potential wife will create an issue as the I-130 application specifically asks if you have filed for someone before. You should consult an immigration attorney.
Asylum is a very complicated area of law and the exception to the one year rule is even more complex. You need to have a private consultation with an attorney to evaluate all the facts and give you your options.