Your first green card is only good for 2 years. You will need to file a I-751 in 2 years from now. I would try to work things out with your husband. If not, you may need to file for the 10 year green card on your own. Best to consult an attorney.
Normally you are only allowed to stay in the US for the amount of time on the I-94. And generally when leave the US while a Change of status is pending, you abandon that application. It is best to hire an immigration attorney.
You should not have to file a DS 230 or 260 if she intends to obtain her green card in the United States . You each need to fill out a G-325A, your wife must go to a doctor to have a I-693 filled out and put in a sealed envelope. You also need passport photos, filing fees and other documentation.