Contact a probate attorney in your geographic area. If you need to file anything in probate court, a knowledgeable attorney should be able to help. Check for attorneys through Avvo or the referral service of the Missouri Bar at www.mobar.org.
You can consult with an employment attorney. You can file a charge of sex-based discrimination. (if you find an attorney's posting helpful, please remember to indicate it on AVVO.)
According to the EEOC's website,
If you believe that you have been discriminated against at work because of your race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information, you can file a Charge of Discrimination. All of the laws enforced by EEOC,...
If you weren't a party to the mortgage, you probably are not part of the class. The settlement paperwork should define the class members, however. If you somehow are a member of the class, there should be or should have been an opt-out date. If you cannot figure it out, consult with an attorney.
The elements of defamation in Missouri are: 1) publication, 2) of a defamatory statement, 3) that identifies the plaintiff, 4) that is false, 5) that is published with the requisite degree of fault, and 6) damages the plaintiff's reputation. Nazeri v. Missouri Valley College, 860 S.W.2d 303 (Mo. banc 1993).
While I don't blame you for being upset, you'll have to determine whether it is worth spending lots of money litigating the matter. It might be worth paying an attorney a little...
Missouri's SOL for a written promise to pay is 10 yrs. Otherwise, generally 5 years. If you entered into the agreement in another state then that raises a choice of law issue. Also a contract can designate which state's law applies.
There are various statutes of limitations in Missouri, depending upon the cause of action filed.
Here's a long one, which the bank might argues applies:
What action shall be commenced within ten years.
Missouri Revised Statutes 516.110. Within ten years:
(1) An action upon any writing, whether sealed or unsealed, for the payment of money or property;
(2) Actions brought on any covenant of warranty contained in any deed of conveyance of land shall be brought within ten years next...