First, you're barking up the wrong tree. Second, You have no idea how tricky a question this is. The magic words are "living separate and apart." A few divorce cases have interpreted that to mean that you may live under the same roof, so long as you don't act like husband and wife: You don't go out together, you don't join the same bowling league, etc. We have plenty of client who get divorced and then continue to live together.
One legal separation case, however, said that's not good...
You can move out of state, no problem. You cannot take the child with you, however, without trouble.
The time has come to hire an attorney and get things straightened out. You shouldn't have a problem getting a court order allowing you to move out-of-Illinois with the child; but that's what you need to do: get a court order.
To get the court order, you should work with an attorney.
To work with an attorney, you should make some phone calls.
There's no right to a timely divorce -- it's not like a criminal defendant's right to a speedy trial. Divorce cases sometimes take longer, sometimes shorter. I've seen cases last anywhere from a few days, to several years (seven years was the longest one I was ever involved with).
Get a second opinion. Facing a pro se litigant, it would seem to me your case should be on a timeline of a few months. Longer than that and it sounds fishy. Make some calls to attorneys who offer second...
I hope you're not saying that your trying to discharge your divorce lawyer's fees in bankruptcy court and wan the divorce layer to continue to represent you in the divorce case.
Why is she seeking to withdraw? Just remedy the problem. I suspect she is withdrawing because you owe her money, right? If so, pay her and she'll almost certainly stay with you. You can't expect her to work without getting paid.
So, what's the problem between you two?
This will probably be teh very first question to be answered by the attorney you meet with to prepare your will(s). If you don't want ot pay an attorney, and intend to prepare your will(s) yourselves using an online service, you can try asking them for advice, but I know of only one such service that employs attorneys to answer legal questions free-of-charge.
You're probably better off meeting with an attorney face-to-face.
Unless you've already established paternity, yes, you'll have to go along with his request about hte DNA test.
The better course, here, would be to establish paternity with the biological father and use that ruling to defeat the obsessed one's claim. Assuming you've already established paternity with the real father, just point out that fact to the court. If you've not yet established paternity with the biological father, you need to. What are you waiting for?