Regarding the spousal support issue, contact Friend of the Court so that they can notify the employer of the situation. If employer fails to comply, I would recommend contacting an attorney to show cause the employer for contempt. Regarding the 401(k), you may need to have a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) to divide it up. I would recommend contacting an attorney for that as well.
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Yes. You should definitely go to the hearing. She could be playing games and by going to the hearing you can ensure that the record is cleared.
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It is best to hire an attorney as soon as possible with the goal being not having a conviction on your record.
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They will monitor your levels to make sure they are going down. You should immediately contact an aggressive defense attorney to dismiss or try domestic violence charge.
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I recommend that you do get an attorney because a conviction involving theft would be very damaging on your record. I would try going for a plea under advisement to keep it off your record.