Legal expenses are usually awarded when one spouse is in a much better financial position than the other, or when one spouse unnecessarily causes excessive legal fees. If one spouse wants a divorce, you will be divorced. I do not know of any statutory or case law that requires a spouse to pay legal fees just because the other spouse did not want the divorce.
Qualifying for a public defender is based on income and assets. Have you tried to consult with a local criminal defense attorney, or are you assuming the retainer would be so high? If you haven't done so, set up an initial consultation with a local criminal criminal defense attorney.
By PTD, do you mean Pretrial Diversion and the case was dropped? Or did you plea nolo contendre (no contest) and get probation and a withhold of adjudication? Either way, the answer to your question is no.
A background check will usually catch a misdemeanor. An expungement would be beneficial. Contact a local criminal defense attorney for an initial consultation. Only some records are eligible foe sealing and/or expungement.
If this is your first court date since being arrested you will probably get a continuance if you ask. You should schedule a consultation with a local attorney as soon as possible. It's always better to go into court with an attorney.
The child support may be modified even if the judge does not grant the modification of time sharing. If your income went up $25K, it sounds like you have a substantial change in circumstances which may result in your child support being raised. I must respectfully disagree with my colleague regarding the standard for child support being need and ability to pay. That is the standard for spousal support. Child support is based on statutory guidelines that takes into account both of your incomes.