The ultimate decision belongs to the judge. The probation officer makes a recommendation, but the judge may or may not follow the recommendation. If he wants a bond on the VOP, a motion to set bond should be filed and set for hearing. Good luck.
You will need to file a Supplemental Petition to modify the child support and parenting plan. You should do this ASAP because the child support modification can only go retroactive to the date you file the Supplemental Petition. Contact a local experienced family law attorney. Many offer a free initial consultation.
If she will not agree to sign a settlement agreement, you need to file for divorce. You are probably about to be involved in a very contested divorce. It is important to consult with an experienced local family law attorney.